


Butterfly Effect

by Vein_Is_Simply_Tired



Series: Butterfly Effect [1]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Canon Divergence, Eventual Confident!Yuuri, Fix-It, Good!Voice, Happy Ending, M/M, Mental Support, Mental Support!Voice, Pep Talk, Psychological-ish, Self Mental Help, Slow Build, Where Yuuri has a voice inside his head, eventual feels, eventual victuuri
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-03
Updated: 2017-01-21
Packaged: 2018-09-14 12:15:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 27,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9181009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vein_Is_Simply_Tired/pseuds/Vein_Is_Simply_Tired
Summary: Yuuri has always had a voice, not his own, inside his head.Like how a single flap of butterfly's wings can create a hurricane, a voice is bringing great changes to Yuuri's life.alt summary :What would Yuuri becomes if he grows up with a mental voice that is very invested in his mental health?Here we'll see Yuuri slowly building himself, one mental pep talk and confidence building technique at a time.It'll take time because self-worth and confidence don't come easy for some people, but the end result is worth it.Yuuri centric with several other Yuri!!! on Ice characters' pov and character studies here and there.





	1. 0-21

**Author's Note:**

> The voice saying English words are written with underline and italic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Proofreaded by [myvividreams](http://archiveofourown.org/users/myvividreams/profile)
> 
> Many thanks and shout-outs, this chapter was a grammatical mess before TT^TT)b

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0

0-0-0-0

 

Yuuri has always had a voice, not his own, inside his head.  
  
   
  
As a baby, he is remarkably unfussy compared to his older sister. His parents are relieved and gladly welcome the change after the doctor said, 'he is fine, nothing is wrong, he is just a calm baby', with a smile.  
  
   
  
If baby Yuuri were aware, he would said that it is because he always has melodies running through his head when he needs them. A cheery tone when he feels sad, a gentle song when he gets lonely, and a quiet humming of lullaby when he is sleepy.  
  
   
  
Time passes and the melodies sometimes transform into light-hearted cheers of  _ganba_ when he was learning to sit up and walk, simple Japanese words like kaa-san(mother) and tou-san(father) whenever his parents show up to take care of him, and echoes of a(あ) i(い) u(う) e(え) o(お) whenever his mother points at the hiragana characters.  
  
   
  
Luckily he doesn’t understand when the voice groans out _kanji is impossible_ … and he laughs at the weird sounding words.  
  
   
  
When the concept of individuality seeps onto Yuuri, he realizes that the voice in his head is not his own, and it is willing to answer when he asks questions.

Quickly, before his parents realize that their son appears to be talking to himself, the voice teaches Yuuri not to talk out loud when he talks to it since it can hear his thoughts just fine when it wants to.  
  
   
  
When he gets old enough to start his first day at school, Yuuri almost cries, like several of his future classmates do, because of the idea of being surrounded by other kids he doesn’t know, all by himself, for hours. But the voice tells him  _Yuuri don’t cry, you’ll see your parents in a few hours, so smile for your mother and say 'see you'_.  
  
   
  
His teachers aren’t quite sure about leaving a quiet child playing alone to play by himself, but since their encouragements for him to play more with his peers don’t stick, and since he didn’t do anything weird or disturbing and able to keep up with the their lessons just fine and is perfectly polite when needed, they reluctantly decide to focus their attention to other fussier children instead.  
  
   
  
When his teachers ask if he is shy in parent-teacher conferences, his parents tell them, we don’t think so, he has always been a quiet child. Had they asked Yuuri instead, his truthful answer would be that he doesn’t need to concentrate on other kids. The voice is perfectly willing to tell him stories, ranging from cute stories about a boy and his honey-bear teddy, to grand stories about a pirate and his monster crew.  
  
   
  
To help him with his (presumable) shyness, his mother brings him to a ballet class taught by Minako Okukawa. Yuuri is a bit reluctant, but the voice ecstatically says, G _o for it!_ , so he did.  
  
   
  
He does not regret it.  
  
   
  
Ballet, while it can be painful, is fun and freeing. As he joyfully hops, step, and twirl to the song in his head, something that looks like approval glints in Minako’s eyes.  
  
   
  
Several years later, his classmate Yuuko excitedly drags him to watch a recording of a silver-haired young man. Yuuri is instantly captivated by the beauty the young man radiates on ice, by those intricate step sequences, seamless transitions, and smooth jumps.  
  
   
  
When Yuuko asks him, 'Can you do that Yuuri?', he evaluates himself and honestly says in a sad tone, 'Probably not, I haven’t even tries skating', Yuuko’s disappointed 'ouw…' and the unspoken,  _That’s a shame,_ resonates with him.  
  
   
  
Yuuri is snapped out of his thoughts when he hears a sharp inhale and a quickly spoken _ooo, I swear he is more beautiful in real life, no fan art can do him justice_ , Yuuri frowns a bit and asks, 'What are you saying?', unlike other times, the voice doesn’t translate for him, it just gives a single dry cough and asks, _Yuuri, what do you feel about learning ice skating?_  
  
   
  
It's like Yuuko can hear the voice inside of Yuuri’s head when she says, 'Hasetsu Ice Castle gives a cheaper price for children, why don’t you try it Yuuri?'  
  
   
  
When Minako notices her student’s newfound interest (obsession), she asks, 'Do you want to learn ice skating?'

The voice adds _It won’t be easy, but I believe if you work for it, Yuuri, you can do everything you see Victor can do, and one day you’ll have the chance to appear on the same ice as him, wouldn’t it be great?_  
  
   
  
With that, Yuuri falls into the world of ice skating.  
  
   
  
_Hook_  
  
  
  
_Line_  
  
  
  
_And sinker_

 

* * *

 

If Yuuri thought that ballet was hard then ice skating is hell, in both physically and mentally.

 

While the voice is content to let things be when he does ballet, it almost becomes a second Minako-sensei on ice. It sets out a rule that when he is skating his routine, he has to focus only on his routine, music, and interpretation.

 

Any other thoughts, like random musings, and thoughts on other skaters or the audiences, is rewarded with a single sharp clap and a stern F _ocus, Yuuri_.

 

The new diet plan also isn’t helping Yuuri’s mental health, especially the loss of his much beloved katsudon.

 

On the top of that, the voice starts urging Yuuri to get out of his comfort zone. Starting from things like learning small talk and trying to befriend other children, to voluntarily performing in front of others. 

 

When Yuuri snaps and mentally cries out a, 'Why? Why are you forcing this on me _?'_  , the last thing he expects is for the dam to break and the voice to rant

 

_Because I believe in you Yuuri_

_We believe in you Yuuri_

_There are people who aren’t lucky enough to reach their goal no matter how hard they try_

_But you're not one of, Yuuri_

_You, Yuuri, I believe with every shred of my heart that you can do it_

_One day, you’ll stand at the top and nobody will be able to take their eyes off you_

_You have the potential, Yuuri_

_And, for the love of my God, I don’t want you to be stuck crying in a bathroom stall with a random Russian punk kicking the stall door open_

_That’s what Minako and I are doing, Yuuri, we are preparing you the best we can so that you won’t need to learn that lesson from the harshest teacher they call 'experience'_

_Yuuri, you have the potential, but that doesn’t mean that you don’t have to pay the price to reach the top_

_That is rude to everyone else_

_Rude to Minako, rude to me, rude to even Victor Nikiforov whom I believe has been training and trying way harder and way longer than you have_

_Therefore as long as you’re here, I’m going to prepare you the best I can do, and believe me I won’t let you quit this_

_So, please, endure, try your best and I guarantee that one day your day will come, okay?_

 

Honestly, most of those words fly above Yuuri’s head, but the sheer conviction and a tad bit of desperation that lacing those words gets to him.

 

Yuuri bites his lips and quietly asks, 'Do you really believe that I can?'

 

A resounding, _Yes_ , is his answer.

 

Yuuri takes a deep breath, exhales and says, 'Alright.'

 

0-0-0-0

10

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_ It’s that dog…… _

Yuuri pauses cuddling the super cute, small, brown toy poodle he received from Yuuko when he hears the voice. His repertoire of English words is enough for him to picks up the word dog and the displeased tone makes him frown.

‘You don’t like dogs?’

 

_It’s not like I don’t like dogs… It’s just you… No, dogs have a rather short lifespan…_

 

Yuuri frowns harder, the voice rarely, if never ever, says negative words… A short lifespan is very bad right? Maybe he should return this puppy… But he likes this puppy. It’s so small, cute, friendly, and energetic.

 

 _ Memento Mori_ _… It's alright, Yuuri, I’m not opposed to you keeping the dog. Rather, because dogs have a short lifespan, you better treat him well okay? Make every moment count_

 

Yuuri gives a small nod.

 

 _Okay, now what will you name it? How about Victor? You can call it Vicchan!_ The voice cheerily suggests.

 

Yuuri’s face flushes.

 

In the end, the name stuck.

0-0-0-0

15

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“Minako-sensei, can you introduce me to someone who can make music?”

 

Minako blinks, when she asked Yuuri what he wanted for his program’s music, she hadn’t quite expected Yuuri to ask that question.

 

“Do you want me to help finding one?” She tries, 'Maybe he just can’t find something he likes?'

 

Yuuri shake his head, “I already have the lyrics and tune in my head. All that’s left is to get it out - make it real.”

 

Half an hour of 'Prove it _',_ a grilling session, and tons of white-lies later, Minako gives her contact from her old ballet days a call.

 

Weeks later, instead of one song, Yuuri gets one album and a long-term contract regarding copyright, album sales, and profit cut.

 

Yuuri is grateful for that. Skating is rather expensive after all.

 

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17

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Yuuri wins gold in the Japan Junior Figure Skating Championship.

 

He holds back his tears and smiles as he receives the certificate. It is half in joy and half in relief, 'Oh, so I can do it. All I’ve been doing is not wasted after all.'

The voice says nothing, but Yuuri thinks he can feel a joyful warmth in his chest.

 

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18

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Having a voice inside your head that doesn’t mind translating for you is a serious life-saver when you’re suddenly uproot yourself hometown and move to Detroit.

 

“Yuuri, this is Phichit Chulanont. Phichit, Yuuri Katsuki”, Celestino introduces them, “From now on, you both will be roommates and rink-mates.”

 

_From now on, you both will be roommates and rink-mates_

 

Phichit puts his hands together and says, “Sawasdee Krab”

 

_It means 'hi' in Thailand._

 

Yuuri gives a small bow, “Hello, nice to meet you.”

 

Yuuri politely surveys his new roommate. The dark-skinned boy looks nice with kind smiles on his face.

 

“Yuuri, I’ll be back around 8 PM. Get comfortable and tell me later if you need anything. Phichit, show Yuuri around will ya?”, Celestino points to Phichit, then to Yuuri and makes a circling motion.

 

Phichit seems to get the general gist of it, “Okay coach”

 

_I’ll be back around 8 PM. Get comfortable and tell me later if you need anything. Phichit, show Yuuri around will ya – 'ya' is an informal way of saying you_

Yuuri gives another small bow, “Thank you”

 

Celestino grins, “No problem. You don’t need to be so formal though.”

 

_No problem. You don’t need to be so formal though – American people, they don’t have the habit of bowing_

As Celestino leaves, Phichit takes out his cellphone, “So, new roommate? Cheers! Selfie?”

 

“Eh? Ah, okay.”

 

* * *

 

That night, a thoroughly exhausted Yuuri flops half-dead onto his bed. The sheer amount of English he has heard and used today is probably greater than what he had in previous year combined. While he cheats greatly in reading and listening, speaking is still another thing altogether.

 

_Well, it is a good thing that I can’t get thirsty. That aside, I’m pretty sure immersion is a great way of learning a language… Maybe I should stop translating for you tomorrow… Or better yet, should I speak English to you too?_

 

Yuuri mentally groans, ‘Please don’t’.

 

The voice hums,  _But you know, you really should learn it soon. I can’t hear you when I don’t want to, and I’m pretty sure you’ll want your privacy if you snag an American boyfriend or two and get… busy with them._

Yuuri’s face burns and he mentally wails, ‘There are so many things wrong with that sentence!!!’

_I’m dead serious_

Yuuri inhales, then mentally counts backward from 10, and replies, ‘You can’t win an argument against stupid people. They will just drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.’

 

_… Savage … I don’t remember raising you to be such person, Yuuri_

_... Yuuri?_

_Yuuuuriiii_

Yuuri ignores the voice and goes to sleep.

 

* * *

 

Apparently, the voice decides that if Yuuri is savage enough to use its own words against it, then he can survive immersion in America.

 

After a so-called one-week-immersion-trial, the voice decides that immersion is working well, and enjoys Yuuri sinking in the sea of English language. Still, the voice occasionally throws translation life-floats for important matters.

 

The next 6 months of Yuuri’s stay in Detroit definitely consists of way more sink than swim.

 

* * *

 

Phichit often finds his best-friend writing in a book in Japanese. Yuuri does that on weekly basis. Initially, Phichit guesses that it is a diary, but bullet points are a format for a diary, plus Yuuri doesn’t bother hiding it.

 

Curiosity wins over politeness, and Phichit asks, “What is that?”

 

Yuuri pauses to show his writing to Phichit, “Self-assessment”, he says then he points to the left page, “My strength”, then the right page, “My weakness”.

 

“So that _I don’t lose sight of my value_ ”, Yuuri says, sounding like he is quoting someone.

 

0-0-0-0

19

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The fact that Yuuri’s chosen theme for the upcoming season is about [Homesickness] is rather predictable, if not fitting.

 

While he does win gold at the Japan Junior Figure Skating and the World Junior Figure Skating, he only places 6th in the Japan Senior Figure Skating due to the lack of quads. It was expected, but not really welcome.

 

Celestino encourages him by saying, 'Not only is this your first time in the Senior Figure Skating, but you also need to adjust both your new living condition and college, and, You’re still young. You have lots of time to learn. _'_

Yuuri nods and promises to work hard.

 

As a side note, some parties on social media praise him for his _touching_ and _really makes me want to go home_ performance.

 

 

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20

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His silver in the current season’s Four Continents is apparently enough to give him a ticket to Grand Pix. To his dying day, Yuuri will deny that he had gasped and made a deer-in-the-headlight face when he saw his and Victor Nikoforov’s names in the NHK Trophy roster together.

 

 

 

  
Phichit unsuccessfully  hides his snickers , and Yuuri suddenly realizes that his best - friend  had recorded his reaction.

 

“Phichit, don’t!”, Yuuri  yells as he dives for the damned phone.

 

Phichit  doesn ’t even bother hiding his snickers now as he evades Yuuri while saying, “Don’t worry, it’s  quite the normal reaction, pfft ! ”

He gestures to the multitude of posters decorating Yuuri’s side of the room.

 

If Yuuri’s face  wasn ’t  burning before, it certainly  is now,  “Don’t! Please, pleaseeeee, I beg youuuu”

 

Phichit, with all his (self-proclaimed) kindness, generosity, and wisdom, did not post the video online. But he does refuse to delete it, even in exchange for a home-made Japanese cooking dish.

 

* * *

 

 

 

Victor  thinks that the blushing , Asian teen is rather cute as he  indulgently gives  him his autograph.

 

  
After a slightly accented, “Thank you very much!”, and a bow, the teen quickly leaves and Victor  continues walking.

 

“Did you know who he is Vitya?”, Yakov asked.

 

“Nope~”

 

Yakov huff, “Katsuki Yuuri, last season’s World Junior Figure Skating gold and this season’s Four Continents silver. He is also competing in  the NHK  this year.”

 

“ Heeeh”, Victor is unrepentant.

 

“One of these days, your ignorance  of your  competitors will cost you.”

 

“Yakov, you always worry too much! That ’s why your hair is thinning.”

 

“You are the one  who makes me worry!”

 

Victor just laughs.

 

* * *

   
Celestino contemplates Yuuri's SP  yesterday and FS  today. Yuuri really  has a way  of drawing people’s eyes. He flubs his quads, but his steps, spins and gestures really make it  seem like he  has music inside his body.

 

 

‘Given  some time, he can  become a good competitor’, Celestino  thinks as he  looks at a smiling Victor Nikiforov with his gold medal,  ‘It’s too bad what he  has is not enough for today.’

 

 

 

Katsuki Yuuri places 4th in the NHK Trophy.

 

* * *

 

Yuuri’s 7th place in the Rostelecom doesn’t qualify him for the Grand Prix Final.

 

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21

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Phichit worriedly looks  at his best friend. Yuuri has been staring at his self-assessment book  for hours. The right page, “Weaknesses ”, is cramped full with writings, while the left side, “Strengths ”, only has a few lines.

 

 

 

 

“Yuuri, it’s lunch time ! Let ’s grab something to eat”, Phichit offers.

 

 

Yuuri solemnly shakes his head and grips his pen tighter, “Sorry, Phichit, I’ll pass… There is a voice inside my head that is prohibiting me from leaving until this page is full.”

 

 

  
“…I’ll bring back  some take out for you. What do you want ? ”

 

 

Yuuri gives  him a small, painful smile, and  thanks him softly .

 

* * *

   
Phichit comes back with  some chicken soup, only to pause when he  finds Yuuri smiling at his reflection  on the mirror and says, "I love you".

 

 

  
Yuuri’s horrified, “This isn’t what it  looks like!”,  doesn’t quite  help ease Phichit’s worry for his friend.

 

* * *

  
When Celestino asks  him what music he will use next, Yuuri chooses another rather new song produced by the same artist he  has always  chosen his songs from.

 

 

 

 

“You really like that artist, don’t you, Yuuri?”, Celestino makes an offhand comment. That artist’s songs are not only good, but also widely diverse, something rather rare in the world where artists usually pick one genre and stick to it.

 

Yuuri’s smile is more curved on one side, “Yes, it is like the music comes straight from my head.”

 

 

Celestino  nods then  stares hard at Yuuri’s eyes, “Can you win?”

 

 

Just like the previous years, Yuuri gives him an objective answer, “This time I’ll definitely get a spot in the GPF. As for winning, my skill level is still far below Victor Nikiforov’s, so winning is improbable, but I’ll do my best.”

 

 

Unless he can also do quadruple flips, winning against Victor Nikiforov is a matter of praying for his idol to fail – not a worthy or right mindset.

 

  
Celestino  senses that his student has plenty of motivation. He firmly pats Yuuri’s shoulder and  says, “Good! Let’s work with that.”

 

“Thank you very much , coach!”, Yuuri  gives a bright smile.

 

* * *

 

 _My theme for this year is_ _[Process]_

 

 

_Last season ’s outcome was worse than I expected._

_ I  was honestly disappointed with myself ._

_ But someone  gave me  a days - long berating , and…_

_ In the end,  I realized something which should’ve been obvious . _

_ Winning is not everything . _

_ Winning is a reward for all the effort you placed into the competition,_

 

_ But that doesn’t mean  that not winning makes your effort futile . _

_ The hours that I have spent practicing are not a waste. _

_ Rather, they are part of a precious journey._

 

_ [Process] means that I’m still trying , and , while I’m not there yet ,_

_ Through [Process], tomorrow I will be better than today ._

_I would like to show that to everyone who is supporting me._

_ Eh, who is that person?_

__

_ An important person  who has been supporting me for a very long time ._

 

_ Girlfriend? No, no such thing . Um, let’s just say it is someone whose voice I can hear  inside my head *nervous laugh*  _

 

The reporters and media  thinks Yuuri is being purposely secretive.

 

The voice  thinks that Yuuri needs to learn how to lie better.

 

Yuuri  thinks that maybe he should’ve said less.

 

* * *

 

The Grand Prix roster comes with a bag of mixed feelings.

  
This time, Yuuri will be competing in the Cup of China and, as if mocking him, the Rostelecom Cup.

 

 _Look at the bright side,_ the voice starts, _this way you could get your ‘revenge'_

 

Yuuri nods.

 

_After you do that, you’ll also earn your ticket to the finals, then you can see Victor_

 

Yuuri grips his phone tighter.

 

_And maybe ask for his phone number?_

 

Yuuri’s face flushes, and he mentally panics, ‘What are you talking about?!’

 

_If you see someone you like, shouldn’t you ask for their phone number? Honestly Yuuri, hasn’t Detroit taught you anything about that?_

 

‘It’s different!’

 

_How so?_

 

‘Because he is Victor Nikiforov?’

 

_… I know that you really idolize that guy, and that I’m half-guilty for making you idolize him even further by making him one of your sources of motivation…_

 

Yuuri waits for the voice to continue and get to its point.

 

_But, Yuuri, Victor Nikiforov is human._

Yuuri frowns, ‘No shit, Sherlock’

 

 _Applying cold water to the burnt area – no. Yuuri, I’m being serious here. Victor Nikiforov is human with his own faults and personality. If you want a chance to have something with him, you need to stop projecting your idolization onto him_ _and start seeing him for who he is_

 

‘I really don’t get you sometimes. Besides, what makes you think I want to have anything with him?’, Yuuri says defensively.

 

_Haha, very funny. I’m rolling my eyes_

 

‘You don’t have eyes.’

 

_I’m mentally rolling my eyes_

 

‘…’

 

_… *sigh*, you used to be such a cute little boy who adored and respected me…_

 

‘That was before you said that I needed to grow up to be a katsudon.’

 

 _It’s for your own good, Yuuri_.

 

‘A _super tasty_ katsudon that _enthralls men._ ’

 

_Again, for your own good._

Yuuri makes frustrated noises.

 

_*longer sigh* One day, you’ll understand that I’m trying my best to help you. Back to the topic – basically, the idea is that you go win the Rostelecom and ask Victor for his phone number, or else I’ll marathon the most obnoxious song I know for a month straight in my loudest mental volume_

 

‘I already know that you’re always helping me, and I know I wouldn’t have gotten here without your help’, Yuuri places his palm on top of his eyes, ‘but sometimes I wish that you would make more sense, or at least explain why you say those kinds of things.’

 

 _Just think of me as random and insane then. Sanity is soooo overrated!_ Strangely, the voice sounds happy when it says that.

 

Yuuri smiles wryly, ‘There, another of your non-sense dodging.’

 

The voice hums a random melody.

 

Yuuri takes a deep breath. Their banter helps distract his mind from thinking negatively, ‘At any rate, the goal is clear. Give my best shot, get the medal, get a GPF spot, and get Victor Nikiforov’s phone number, right?’ He says, adding the last part in good humor.

 

_That’s the spirit~_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you're wondering, the thing with the mirror is a type of self-confidence building technique (not narcissism xD), you can google "smile at yourself in the mirror" for more info
> 
>  
> 
> I purposedly make the voice's identity vague because it's identity is not the main point of this story, Yuuri's development and story is.
> 
> Readers are free to imagine the voice anyway you want it to be ;) 
> 
> But if you really want to know what I'm thinking when making the voice; is that it is a voice of someone who knows Yuuri's future and wish for a better life for him.


	2. 21-22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Proofreaded by [myvividreams](http://archiveofourown.org/users/myvividreams/profile)
> 
> Many thanks for saving all of us from bad-grammar induced headache ^o^)b

_0-0-0-0_

Phichit’s Corner

_0-0-0-0_

 

Phichit watches Yuuri’s season theme interview with a blank expression.

 

“ _Girlfriend? No, no such thing. Um, let’s just say it is someone whose voice I can hear in my head_ ”, Yuuri says, laughing nervously.

 

While most people there laugh indulgingly with Yuuri, Phichit’s mind wanders around the idea that Yuuri really does have someone’s voice inside his head.

 

The media likes to wax poetic and say that Yuuri’s performances are always captivating and that he look like he is creating music with his body when he performs them. Only Celestino and Phichit know that Yuuri, when he practices his routine, almost never listens to his chosen music. And still, he somehow always gets the rhythm right, like he truly does have the music in his body.

 

Yuuri’s expressions, when he thinks that no one is watching, are very expressive. He looks like someone talking about a variety of things with someone on the phone, except that there is no phone, no computer and nothing that can connects him to someone else.

 

There are also moments when Yuuri says deep things, sounds like he is quoting someone, or suddenly becomes very good at English at important moments. 

 

It also doesn’t help that sometimes Yuuri does things that he is not comfortable with, and when asked, Yuuri would always say that a voice in his head insisted on him doing it. The first time it happened, Phichit laughed, thinking it was a joke. Repeat that dozens of times over the course of three years, and add it to all of Yuuri’s peculiarities….

 

Phichit shakes his head. Nope, he is just over-thinking this.

 

Later that night, Yuuri comes back with Thai takeout food, something Phichit hadn’t asked him for, but is very happy to receive. Suddenly, Phichit realizes again why he calls this person his best friend.

 

Phichit remembers a line from one of Yuuri’s favorite artist’s songs: _your head is running wild again, my dear we still have everything_. Yep, over-thinking is dangerous, alright. Yuuri is a very good person, the best kind of friend, and someone he doesn’t want to lose over a voice that might or might not exist.

 

“Yuuuriii, I love you!!!”, Phichit exclaims as he hugs Yuuri, “Hashtag just as friends though.”

 

 Poor Yuuri looks confused, and Phichit grins as he holds up his phone and adopts a selfie position, “Smile, Yuuri!”

 

 

**phichit+chu**

 

[image]

 

♥ 3,925 likes

 

phichit+chu Me and my bff @yuuri-katsuki after his season theme announcement #bff #process #fight #ganba #formalsuit #burnthetie #dormroom

 

* * *

 

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21

0-0-0-0

 

 

Yuuri stares at the three people on the podium with a polite smile, clapping politely.

 

Sometimes, life has a way of messing with people. In the Cup of China, Yuuri only got 4th place, just like his 4th place last year on NHK Trophy.

 

Next will be Rostelecom, and he got 7th place there last year, so this yea-

 

_Yuuri, what is a path?_

 

Yuuri’s train of thought is cut short by the voice’s random question. ‘What?’

 

_A path, Yuuri, what is a path?_

 

‘Roadway? Something you can use to walk?’

 

_At the risk of copyright, Yuuri, please imagine a very vast meadow filled with tall grass with you in the middle of it_

 

‘You ignored my answer… again… and what copyright are you talking about?’ Yuuri tsukkomi-s, but decides to humor the voice since he knows that when it gets into this particular mood, it won’t stop bugging him until he does what it asks.

 

_Now walk, anywhere you want_

_Go further_

 

_As you walk, the grass you step is flattened under your feet_

_Keep going_

_Now stop and look back_

_What did you see?_

 

‘…A path?’

 

_Yep, that’s it. Now who made that path?_

 

‘Me’, Yuuri is starting to get an inkling on where this is going.

 

 _Yes, Yuuri_ , _the grass you walk on becomes your path. It is the same thing as your actions in life. What you do becomes your history. Now, Yuuri, what about the rest of the meadow?_

 

‘Possible actions… Actions that I could take… My future?’

 

_Precisely. You can take any direction you want. Your future is determined, not by fate, but by you and only you. So, what do you say?_

 

Yuuri gives a weak smile and gathers his courage to mentally say, ‘I’m going to win the Rostelecom.’

 

_And a certain skater’s phone number (toaru sukeetaa no denwa bangou)_

‘Yes, yes, that is the most important part of all these competitions, right’, Yuuri’s small smile turns wry.

 

 _But why of course! While an electric tsundere SS ship is not bad_ _, I like you way better, Yuuri~_

 

At this point, Yuuri doesn’t even bother trying to figure out what the voice means. He just takes what he can understand and says a simple, grateful, ‘Thank you.’

 

* * *

 

 

 _Inhale_ …

_Hold it_

_Exhale_ …

 

Yuuri does a breathing exercise as he lets Celestino’s encouraging words fly through him.

 

‘My short program’s score is in second!’

 

 _Yes, very good one, inhale_ …

 

‘But if I can’t get enough points in the free skate, this will be my last grand pix this season’

 

_True, now hold it_

‘And my pre-prepared exhibition piece will be useless once again.’

_That would be a such shame, wouldn’t it? Exhale_ …

 

Yuuri lets out a long sigh…

 

The commentator’s voice is resounding, “Next, in third place, Yuuri Katsuki, representing Japan, age 21.”

 

Yuuri slaps his cheeks and gives Celestino a smile, “Thank you, coach. I’m not going back today.”

 

Yuuri makes a small circle on the ice and heads to the center of the rink.

 

_You ready?_

He stops in the center and gets into his starting pose.

 

‘Yes.’

 

“His music is [One Moment in Time]”

 

Yuuri tunes everything out. Right here, right now, there exists only one figure skater giving his best. He doesn’t need to listen to the distracting cheers of the audience or whatever comment the commentator gives about him.

 

_Each day I live_

_I want to be_

 

That voice singing on solo is enough.

 

_A day to give_

_The best of me_

 

Yes, that is what he is doing – giving his best.

 

_I’m only one_

_But not alone_

 

He can’t help the small smile. It’s true.

 

_My finest day_

_  
Is yet unknown_

And that is why he is going to show it right now.

 

* * *

 

In the Kiss & Cry, Yuuri is clutching his tuna-sushi tightly.

 

Celestino places one hand on his shoulder and reassures him, “Don’t worry, that performance was just wonderful and touching!”

 

“Score for Yuuri Katsuki…”, If the tuna-sushi were alive, it would’ve choked to death.

 

“158.88! With this he is currently in first place with a 0.03-point difference from second place! This is also a new personal best for Yuuri Katsuki. Congratulations!”

 

0-0-0-0

Celestino Corner

0-0-0-0

 

After the interview session, Celestino and Yuuri sit down while waiting for the last skater to finish his free skate.

 

Celestino thinks that he lucked out on this student of his.

 

Yuuri’s quads need some help, but his strong ballet background, and more importantly, his expressive gestures make up for them with his high presentation scores.

 

On top of that, he is very low maintenance. He is always ready for more practice, but isn’t too stubborn that he needs to be told twice to stop. It is the same for diet and lifestyle. Anything Celestino suggests is followed without complaint.

 

While he is somewhat introverted, he is always polite and helpful when someone does approach him. A good thing, since inter-rink fighting or hatred is definitely not on Celestino’s list.

 

Yuuri not wanting sponsors, coupled with his polite demeanor, makes PR easier than it has ever been.

 

Half of the time, Celestino wonders whether or not his encouraging words are really needed. While Yuuri is prone to feeling down, he is capable of picking himself back up on his own.

 

Phichit has half-jokingly said that Yuuri has a voice he can hear in his head which helps him through tough times. Celestino eyes his student who currently has his eyes closed and looks like he is doing his best to hold a smile, failing half-the time. Honestly, Celestino can see where Phichit is coming from.

 

Yuuri, despite his shortcomings, is very well put together. If that is because of a voice... Well, he has heard that you can find everything online these days. Should he buy some and give them to his other skaters?

 

Celestino’s wandering mind is pulled back to reality when the last skater reaches the Kiss & Cry. Yuuri hadn’t wanted to watch, saying, 'I’m barely above second, so at this point, it will only make me nervous, and besides, unless I’m capable of sending death threats with my eyes, whether I see or not won’t make a difference', but Celestino is excited for his student’s potential first gold medal.

 

“Free score for – is 145.54! With a combined score of 229.08 he is in third place!”

 

The audience erupted in cheers.

 

“Yes!!!” Celestino pumps his fist and hugs Yuuri.

 

“Eh?! What??”, Yuuri snaps his eyes open.

 

“Congratulations, Yuuri!”

 

Yuuri, blinks once, darts his eyes to the monitor, and takes a sharp breath.

 

* * *

 

_Your first medal in the senior international stage is a gold medal, Yuuri~ Way to go!_

 

* * *

 

0-0-0-0

22

0-0-0-0

 

1.73

 

That is the gap between Yuuri and the 3rd place winner.

 

Yuuri sighs as, once again, he can only watch Victor from his seat. At the GPF, he has scored another personal best in his FS, but his failed quad at SP dragged him down.

 

‘I’m starting to hate 4th place.’ ( **Shi** ) [四 – shi - four]

 

 _At least you’re not dead. ( **Shi** nde) [_ _死_ _– shi – death]_

‘Haha.’ Yuuri gives a dry laugh.

 

_I’m serious though. As long as you’re alive, the try-again option is always available_

 

‘Mmmm.’

 

 _ Nothing is impossible, _ _right? Who knows. One day you might even beat God~_

Yuuri rolls the idea once in his head and wryly replies, ‘ _God,_ eh… The point difference between me and Victor is 64.48… At this point, he is so far up from everyone else that he might as well be a real god.’

 

The voice make an exaggerated, shocked gasp, _What do you mean a **real** god? He **is** God, Yuuri. The number of shrines and followers he has exceeds any other religion. By the way, his favorite offering is katsudon_

 

Yuuri can’t help the twitch on the edge of his lip. ‘Riiiight~ Last time I checked, you were telling me to treat him like a regular human being. What changed your mind? Besides, he is Russian. I’m pretty sure he doesn’t even know what katsudon is.’

 

_My faith in his humanity was shaken by the sheer number of posters I see every day_

 

Yuuri covers his face with his hands, ‘I don’t have that many posters of him.’

 

_So you say, Yuuri… Don’t you realize that you’ve run out of space on your side of the dorm room? You’re lucky that Phichit is a good and tolerant bff_

 

Yuuri chokes. ‘What?!’

 

_I’m pretty sure there is one shiny poster of God on Phichit’s table… I’m also sure that Phichit wasn’t the one who bought and placed it there_

 

Yuuri runs through a mental recollection of his shared dorm room, and ice runs through his spine. ‘Wait… that… it… really exists…’

 

_Yep, it has been there for… two weeks or so?_

 

‘Seriously??’

 

_Yep. I find it funny how you have so many of them that they have become part of the background, going unnoticed unless you’re really looking for them_

 

‘Why didn’t you tell me?!’

 

_Well you were happy with it, Phichit was happy with you being happy, and I’m happy with both of you being happy_

 

Yuuri mentally wails and starts shaking a bit. Placing tons posters on his side of the room is one thing, but placing them on Phichit’s side of the room is…

 

_Oh, by the way, heads up. Celestino totally thinks you’re crying right now and he sounds desperate to cheer you up_

Yuuri snaps back to reality.

 

* * *

 

The GPF banquet is formal, tedious, and boring.

 

In the end, Yuuri goes back to Detroit with a half-joking apology of, ‘Sorry. In the end I didn’t manage to get Victor’s phone number.’

 

_What are you talking about? The season isn’t over, you know._

 

‘Well… There still is the Nationals, but I’m sure _he_ won’t be th- wait, don’t tell me!’

 

_Yep, that’s it~_

Yuuri takes out his phone to scroll down the ISU announcements.

 

‘Last year, Japan only had 1 slot for Worlds, and since I got 4th for the National, they didn’t even consider sending me. But this year Japan has 3 slots.’

_So this time, if you manage to break the death (_ _死_ _/_ _四_ _) curse~_

 

‘I can see him again in Worlds!’

 

_Yes~!_

 

* * *

 

 

 

Yuuri places 4th for his SP.

 

_ Really? You let her name your baby Naruto(fishcake)? _

 

‘… No. Who names their child Naruto(fishcake)?’

 

_It is supposed to be Naruto(maelstrom), but I think I like Yuuri(courage) better. What do you think?_

 

Yuuri takes a deep breath, ‘I think my parents are psychic and knew exactly what I’d need the most when they named me.’

 

_Katsuki(born to win) Yuuri(courage) is such a handsome name, isn’t it?_

 

Yuuri thinks about what answer would be the most amusing for the voice, and says, ‘I’ll show them handsome.’

 

The voice cheerily laughs,  _So handsome indeed_

 

* * *

 

As Yuuri stands on the podium for 3rd place, he collects his resolve, saying, ‘Please help me.’

 

_What can I do for you, oh young padawan?_

             

‘Help me with my thesis.’

 

_Uh, yes, I am planning to? Friendly reminder: you still need to choose your topic, by the way._

 

‘Please choose the topic you’re most familiar with.’

 

_… And by that you mean …_

 

‘It’s just like the songs… Copyright and plagiarism don’t apply for you, right?’

 

_Yuuri you- no… Forget that... **Why** , Yuuri?_

 

‘I need more time. At the rate I’m going at, I’m just going to lose again at Worlds.’

 

The voice makes some noncommittal sounds.

 

‘Please. I know you can.’

 

_*sigh* Fine, Yuuri, but I have 2 conditions_

 

_First is that you go back to Hasetsu for a week. You’re going to save months of time that normal students use to fix their mistakes after all. Might as well use some of that time for your family_

 

Yuuri nods.

 

_While the second one…_

 

* * *

 

Later that night, Yuuri has a talk with Celestino regarding his one week vacation and his new training schedules.

 

* * *

 

As he waves Celestino good bye at the airport, Yuuri proceeds to walk towards his own boarding room.

 

* * *

 

Yuuri soaks in the familiar, yet slightly different, sights in Hasetsu as he watches the white winter scenery.

 

He opens Yuutopia’s main front door, smiles at his gaping father, and says, “Is there a room available for one week?”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trivia;
> 
> Solo singer in opera is usually called [Aria] (that’s why you see [Aria] on Stammi Vicino (solo ver)’s title.) 
> 
> Taken from ISU website, apparently 1st place for senior GPF prize money is 25,000 USD… The leading GP –> Rostelecom, NHK, Cup of China, etc – gives 18,000 USD for first place... Suddenly Victor’s gold skate blade and Yuuri’s shiny gold ring purchase didn’t seem overly expensive anymore.
> 
> Anime!Phichit really do have a poster of Victor on his side of the room (lol)  
> http://yoimeta.tumblr.com/post/154997139723/yuuri-travels-with-his-posters-of-victor
> 
> AN : 
> 
> What is this... I swear when I'm constructing ideas, this is supposed to be a short one-shot


	3. 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, proofreaded by [myvividreams](http://archiveofourown.org/users/myvividreams/profile)
> 
> Thank you very much *bows* !

0-0-0-0

Young Yuuri & The Voice

Years ago

0-0-0-0

 

‘Kintsukuroi?’ Yuuri repeats the unfamiliar word.

 

_Yep, it is made up of Kin(gold) and tsukuroi(mending). As it says, it is the art of repairing broken pottery with gold or silver. Not to disguise the cracks, but to highlight the beauty in brokenness._

 

‘Okay…?’

 

_ If I were to use that word in regards to humans, it would be like canon you, I guess… You were full of cracks but then he came to fix you, making you something beautiful. _

 

‘Uh, is that English? What are you saying?’  

 

_ But he was far from perfect, and you were so very fragile in your beauty it was painful to see _

 

‘Hello?’

 

_I’m saying, won’t it be better if the pottery was never broken in the first place?_

 

‘Ah, yes? Mother says that I need to be careful and not drop pottery.’

 

 _ Being broken is like a deep, inescapable darkness. Even the most skilled craftsman won’t be able to piece you back together perfectly… _ _I think that if you want gold on your pottery, gold engraving will be better! I’ll do my best!_

 

* * *

 

0-0-0-0

22

0-0-0-0

Yuuri strokes Vicchan on his lap while looking at the large bowl of katsudon on the table with a touch of wistfulness. It has been so long. He really has missed this, all of this.

 

 Before he can finish the bowl, the dining room’s door slams open.

 

“Is Yuuri really here?!” Minako exclaims.

 

Yuuri brightens, “Minako-sensei! It’s been a long time (ohisashiburi)!”

 

“Don’t give me that! Why didn’t you tell me that you were coming back? I could’ve picked you up at the airport!”

 

Yuuri has the grace to look sheepish, “Well this was a sudden decision, and my arrival time was very early in the morning…?”

 

Minako holds her forehead, “*sigh* You… Next time, even if it were midnight, call me, okay?”

 

Yuuri smiles, “Okay, thank you very much.”

 

Minako gives Yuuri a hug, “Welcome back, we all missed you.”

 

“Me, too.”

 

* * *

 

Half-dead, Yuuri flops down onto his bed. Beside him, Vicchan lets out a low whine while nudging and sniffing Yuuri. Yuuri smiles and hugs his dog.

 

Vicchan was so excited when it first saw him, but after all its energy was spent, it became very clingy.

 

“I missed you too, Vicchan”, Yuuri says as he strokes his cute, brown poodle.

 

Later, Minako, Yuuko and her family comes by. Together with his family, they share many stories of each of them. They only leave when it gets late and Yuuri’s jet lag keeps him from doing anything more than having a quick bath and dragging himself onto his bed.

 

Before long, his heavy eyelids shut close, and sleep drags him down into darkness.

 

* * *

 

 

Yuuri might be on a one week vacation, but he is also a Worlds FSC candidate on vacation. Luckily for him, the people he is here to see are reachable even while keeping up with his training.  

 

Minako-sensei helps him smoothen his choreography and movements.

 

Nishigori sometimes joins him on his daily runs.

 

Yuuko happily chats with him from the border of the skating rink. Her four-year-old triplets are cute, but they’re very excitable… Yuuko calls them budding skating otaku, which really would happen if this goes on.

 

He spends dinnertime with his family. He also helps with some of the more tiring parts of inn-keeping, considers them training.

 

All in all, it is _almost_ exactly like his lifestyle before he went to Detroit.

 

The thing that worries him the most is…

 

“Mari-nee, is Vicchan sick?” He asks as he hugs the poodle. At first, he thought that Vicchan’s clinginess was just it missing him, but after 3 days, Vicchan still hasn’t let go. It barks and whines when Yuuri goes away. If Yuuri doesn’t move for a period of time, Vicchan would curl onto him and fall asleep. Vicchan also doesn’t seem to eat much.

 

Mari shoots Yuuri an unpleasant look. “Nah, it is just getting old.”

 

Yuuri freezes. A toy poodle’s lifespan is 12-15 years, and Vicchan is already 12 years old. It is an _old_ dog.

 

“Oh, I see…”, Yuuri murmurs as he gently squeezes the poodle tighter.

 

* * *

 

 

‘What is this feeling?’

 

 _Post-trip depression_.

 

‘… What is that?’

 

_Hmmm… You’ve heard the phrase absence make the heart grow fonder, right?_

 

‘Yes?’

 

_Texting and face timing cannot replace proximity. Not to mention, you were rarely able to do them since you were always so busy with life. Thus, in their absence, your mind liked to bring up the good parts of this place more_

_When you got back here, you realized that things aren’t as great as you thought it was_

 

_You realized that time is not frozen here_

 

_People you’re familiar with, places you used to go – they all have changed in both subtle and great ways_

 

_One way or another, you feel that this isn’t what you expected you would come back to_

 

_And you don’t like that_

 

Tears start to flow.

 

_Go ahead and cry_

_Bring up all your expectations and all the disappointment that comes with them_

_Then cry them all out_

 

* * *

 

 

Yuuri wakes up to Vicchan licking his face and a headache.

 

_Ah, that glorious headache you get after crying yourself to sleep~_

 

Yuuri groans. It is way too early to listen to the voice’s smart comments.

 

_How are you feeling?_

 

Yuuri shoots back, ‘What do you think?’

 

_Sassy~_

Yuuri snorts. He goes quiet for a while and asks, ‘What should I do now?’

 

_Live_

 

‘Live?’

 

_Yep. Memento mori translates to ‘remember that you must die’, but what it really means is ‘don’t waste your life’. Do what you want to do, appreciate what life has to offer, try new things, don’t shy away from your feelings, and live your life to the fullest!_

 

* * *

 

Yuuri spends the rest of his one week vacation on as much quality time with his loved ones as he can.

 

When it is time to leave, Yuuri hugs his sister tightly and says in a low voice, “Mari-nee please take care of Vicchan. Get him anything he needs and if he gets sick, even for the mildest sickness, please take him to the vet and inform me. I’ll cover the cost.”

 

“Brat, our inn isn’t so bad off that we can’t provide for Vicchan on our own”, Mari replies with no real heat.

 

“Please,” Yuuri begs as he hugs her tighter.

 

Mari sighs and pats his back, “Alright, alright, I’ll do that. You better go hunt down some prize money to cover for it.”

 

“Thank you”, Yuuri releases Mari with a small but genuine smile.

 

Vicchan whines as he senses Yuuri leaving. It’s heartbreaking, but it is one of the prices Yuuri must pay for the path he has chosen.

 

* * *

 

The next 3 months of Yuuri’s life back in Detroit can be described with one word: ‘grueling’.

With no more college matters to serve as a distraction from his practice schedule, Yuuri’s sole focus is the ice. Yuuri’s above-average stamina leaves Celestino looking thoughtful.

 

As March nears its end, Yuuri packs his suitcase while running a mental checklist. Literally.

 

_Skates?_

‘Looks good, check.’

_Costumes?_

‘No tears or loose ends, check.’

_SP song CD?_

‘Labeled properly, check.’

_FS?_

‘Same, check.’

_Backup CD?_

‘Here.’

_National Anthem CD?_

 

Yuuri pauses and half-jokingly says, ‘Victor will be there, do I even need this?’

 

_There can be miracles~ When you believe~_

 

‘Right. Check. For whatever good bringing it would do.’

 

_Who knows, Yuuri, you might want to listen to that in the airplane_

 

‘Hahaha,’ Yuuri dryly laughs.

 

_The voice hums an oriental sounding song_

 

‘… is that a National Anthem?’ Yuuri softly asks.

 

_Hmmm, if I say yes?_

 

‘It’s nothing. Just curious.’

 

_… Just think of it as a random song since there is a 0% chance of you hearing it at Worlds_

 

‘Okay,’ Yuuri agrees as he quietly takes note of the information.

 

* * *

 

Half a day later, Yuuri takes some scenery and selfie photos, _It is France Yuuri! How could you not take hundreds of selfies?_ , and dutifully posts them online with the hashtag #HappyNowPhichit. The comments that come in are mostly people cheering him on with some _Thank you Phichit!_ ’s rolling in.

Afterwards comes Yuuri’s ritual(habit) of sleeping the jetlag off.

 

 _Hashtag Japanese sleeping beauty indeed_.

* * *

 

The first two days are used to familiarize the skaters with the rink, and for more practices, some meetings, and socializing.

Yuuri comments that he is grateful that he is not the only Japanese person in his first Worlds.

 

 _What am I, chopped liver?_ , The voice says in snotty tone.

 

‘No! I didn’t mean it like that!’ Yuuri panics a bit.

 

_Nah, chill, Yuuri, I was just joking. But you’ll need to learn how to deal with conversation traps like that if you decide you want a girlfriend_

 

‘Ugh…’, Some people have approached him, but they always left empty handed since his skating career is his first priority.

 

_I suggest getting a boyfriend instead_

 

‘Ughhhhh….’

 

* * *

 

Yuuri’s SP places him at 7th place, out of 45.

 

Yuuri waits for one of the voice’s random distracting comments, but after a while, it seemed like it wouldn’t say anything. ‘Not saying anything this time?’

 

‘Hmmm? I don’t think you need it, Yuuri~’

 

Yuuri pauses to inspect his feelings. Yes, he still feels bad and very regretful about his mistakes, but it is not on the level that he desperately needs a distraction to keep from spiraling into negativity. All this time, he has been doing the confidence building techniques the voice has suggested. It has been working, but the progress is very slow and doesn’t seem to work most of the time.

 

_Rome was not build in a day, Yuuri. So how are you feeling?_

 

‘Mostly regretful. I wish I could’ve done better on those jumps. Also, pressured. I’m terrified of disappointing everyone. But… I… I don’t know. There is this… this feeling…’

 

 _Hmmm_?

 

‘Huh…’ Yuuri exhales. ‘I want to win, have to win, but I… There is this part of me that just wants to do my best, since I’m _here_ , here at _Worlds_. I just want to do my _best_.’

 

The voice inhales and says in a soft but happy voice, _That’s good, really good. I’m so happy and proud of you right now… Focus on that, just focus on giving your best. Ganbarimashou(let’s do our best)!_

* * *

 

Later that night, Yuuri has a serious talk with Celestino about changing his FS’s jumps.

 

* * *

 

As the final note of his FS rings in the air, the crowd’s cheers are almost deafening.

Yuuri lets go of his final position. His lungs are burning, hands are shaking, and his legs and body feel like they could give up any time.

Yuuri desperately holds back his tears as he scraps the last of his energy to bow to the audiences.

 

 _Yuuri, that was wonderful!_ The voice almost sounds like it is crying. _Whatever your placement is, you can be proud of that, Yuuri! We’ll have a katsudon party when we get back!_

 

* * *

 

Yuuri breaks his personal record, beating his last by 7.509 points, and is currently at 1st place.

 

* * *

 

 

 

 _What happened to not wanting to watch the other competitors, Yuuri?_ , the voice teases.

 

Yuuri doesn’t bother answering as he is too busy admiring the last skater’s, Victor Nikiforov’s, FP.

The 5th to the last performing skater, Christophe – _ew, the ice looks wet_ \- Giacometti, has booted him to 2nd place, but since then, nobody else has had a higher score. Everyone, including Yuuri, believes that Victor Nikiforov will comes out first again, so Yuuri is practically guaranteed 3rd place.

Because of that, unlike in previous competitions, Yuuri can watch the last performance at total ease… Plus, it’s Victor Nikiforov. Who would want to miss his performance?

 

‘This is just so wonderful… such clean quad flips… I would die happy if I could do that…’

 

_Then, in 2 years, I’ll prepare a coffin decorated with Victor Nikiforov’s merchandise for you to use, Yuuri~_

 

Yuuri doesn’t bother dignifying that with a response. It was just too ridiculous on many degrees.

 

As Victor finishes his free skate, _another wonderful, flawless performance!_ , lots of people, mainly Russians, gives him a standing ovation.

 

_Congratulations on podium-ing in your first Worlds! Aren’t you excited about your exhibition?_

 

Yuuri freezes.

 

* * *

 

0-0-0-0

Flashback

0-0-0-0

 

_*sigh* Fine, Yuuri. But I have 2 conditions._

 

_First is that you go back to Hasetsu for a week. You’re going to save months of time that normal students use to fix their mistakes after all. Might as well use some of that time for your family_

 

Yuuri nods.

 

_While the second one… Remember the song and choreography that you used for your dance class?_

_Yuuri flushes. ‘You mean the one you_ _forced on me? Couldn’t forget even if I tried to…’_

 

_You need to get out of your comfort zone every once in a while_

 

‘Yes, yes, that’s why I agreed. So what about it?’

                                                                    

_So what about it? Use it for your exhibition of course!_

‘Haaaa?!’

 

_I’m so sad, Yuuri. Not only did you fail to get Victor’s phone number, but you also weren’t able to even talk with him. So… I decided that you need help, and isn’t that song the perfect help?_

 

0-0-0-0

End of Flashback

0-0-0-0

 

* * *

 

‘My 4th consecutive win at Worlds and the questions they ask me are about my retirement,’ Victor dully thinks as he leads reporters around with a fake smile and non-committal answers. At this point, no matter what his answers are, the media is going to form their own opinions about whatever scenario they think would be most interesting anyway. The topic of choice this season is his retirement.

 

Victor’s mood spirals into melancholy. ‘Surprising people is my motto, but very few are interested in my theme choice beyond the fact that it won another gold no-miss. Retire? I’m only 27 years old. I’m not that old. Is it my silver hair that makes me look older?’ Victor absently notes his long shiny locks. He has placed great care into them. ‘Should I cut it next season? That’s bound to surprise some people, right?’

 

He mentally lets out a long sigh.

 

A splutter from his left catches his attention, as the bronze medalist – _Yuuri Katsuki? Ah the same name as that tomboy cat_ – tries his best to cover it and give the most diplomatic(safe) answer he can find.

 

‘Aaa, that’s not a good move. Reporters are like starving hyenas. If you show them an opening, they’ll use that to chase you down.’ Victor learned that when he was younger. ‘Well, even without that, his almost shy behavior coupled with his cute looks – _the slicked back hair and glasses is a nice combo_ – will get him hunted anyway.’

 

‘He looks genuinely happy for a 3rd placer though,’ Victor absently thinks. When was the last time he was _genuinely_ happy to win gold? ‘How many years ago…?’

 

* * *

 

 

On the day of the exhibition, Yuuri reconsiders all his life choices as he holds a black marker.

 

‘Do I really have to do this?’, Yuuri whines.

 

_Yesssss, it’s not even on Argentine Tango level_

 

‘I can’t do that either remember? The instructor kept saying _You have to_ _feel it!_. Can’t I do some other thing instead?’, Yuuri pleads.

 

_Nopeeee, I thought we were done with this bargain. Do it, or you do your thesis on your own_

 

‘I must be crazy for doing this at Worlds’, Yuuri grits his teeth and writes a series of numbers on the inner side of his left forearm.

 

_Oh, Yuuri, this is nothing. **Crazy** is naked pole dancing at the GPF banquet_

 

‘What?’ Yuuri recalls his boring, tedious, and uneventful GPF banquet, and fails to connect it with naked pole dancing, ‘That could never happen. The banquet hall doesn’t even _have_ a pole.’

 

_Magic and miracles exist, you know!_

* * *

 

“The men’s singles bronze medalist, Japan’s Yuuri Katsuki!”, The commentator introduces.

 

Victor notes that Yuuri looks really casual with his jeans and oxford sweater.

 

“His exhibition is a self-choreographed performance to the song [Call Me Maybe].”

 

_I threw a wish in the well_

_Don't ask me I'll never tell_

_I looked at you as it fell_

_And now you're in my way_

 

Victor notes with amusement that Yuuri’s position causes him to stop and stare in his direction. His _I-got-caught-staring_ way of shyly averting his eyes and moving is endearing.

 

As the song goes on, Yuuri’s movements get more and more seductive while still retaining their shyness – a picture perfect interpretation of a romantically innocent person trying to hit on someone. 

 

What really surprises him, however, is that on the chorus –

 

_It's hard to look right at you baby_

– Yuuri hooks a finger on his left hand sleeve’s opening, and drags it down.

_But here's my number_

He places his left arm in front of his face, inner side facing outwards, displaying a series of black, hand-written numbers – _black marker?_ – and spins lazily so that everyone can see it.

 

 **+1-313-555-** ♥♥♥♥

 

_So call me maybe_

He then makes a phoning movement with his left arm, revealing his blushing face complete with a shy smile.

 

Cue fans screaming worldwide, and the internet flooding with _Is that number real?_ and _What are the last 4 digits!_

 

‘Oh, so this is what _surprise_ feels like,’ Victor thinks, noting the return of the long gone feeling.

 

* * *

 

Yuuri half dazedly lies down in his hotel room. ‘What was that?’

 

_Kukukuku_

_Kuhahaha_

_kuHAHAHAHA_

The voice lets out a mad, 3 stage laughter.

 

_*cough*_

_It’s the same concept as a panties-shot, Yuuri!_

 

‘Which part?!’

 

_If you can see it, all you’re left with are vulgar thoughts_

_When you can’t see it, it’s art_

And there’s another random quote which the voice sounds really proud to say.

 

‘Ha…?’

 

_Full blown eros is like Chris._

_Unless you truly like it, it just leaves you thinking ‘ewww’_

_But your innocent, shy seduction is not only refreshing, cute, and endearing, it (more importantly) stimulates imagination_

_In short, its **art**_.

 

Yuuri buries his head into his pillow and mentally wails.

 

_On a more serious note, it was mainly shock factor, since sensuality has never appeared in your programs or demeanor before, so it really surprised them when you did that_

_Of course, this was a rather cheap shot and probably won’t produce the same effect if you do it again_

_But our season’s goal is 100% completed, so cheers for the hard work!_

 

Yuuri tightly grips his phone. In it, there are dozens of new phone numbers, including one that says [Victor].

 

                                            

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SS-Victuuri anyone?
> 
>  
> 
> I know that figure skater didn’t usually change their exhibition piece midway, but it’s for the sake of the story, please forgive me this once. *bows*
> 
>  
> 
> Btw, am I the only one that Victor is either insane or a real monster? 
> 
> Look, Yuuri and other figure skaters spent almost a year refining their SP and FS.
> 
> Anime Victor said that he’ll show up on Russian National… and he said that on GPF Men Free… which means that he only have less than 2 weeks to prepare new SP an FS if he wants to do that season’s Russian National…
> 
> If he did that and win gold… I can’t even imagine every other skaters’ feelings…


	4. 22 (Off-Season Vacation)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Proofreaded by [myvividreams](http://archiveofourown.org/users/myvividreams/profile)
> 
> Thank you ! *throw internet cookies* 
> 
> Warning : I have no idea about irl sports (all my figure skating knowledge comes from quick google searches), dogs, grammar and no real psychological background (I just happen to like psychology and character study)
> 
> Take all said in this fic with a grain of salt

It almost feels like something shifts inside Yuuri.

All this time he has been desperate, almost crazed, to become a better skater.

 

Train.

Fail.

Pick up the pieces.

Train again.

Repeat the cycle.

 

It never feels enough.

 

Victor Nikiforov is the beginning of his figure skating story.

Victor Nikiforov is the end goal of his figure skating story.

And Victor Nikiforov is so far up, that Yuuri always has this fear of never catching up to him.

 

Last year’s GPF was a real torture. Victor Nikiforov was there, but Yuuri had missed that one step – _one rank_ – and _he_ remained a very distant dream.

 

In this year’s Worlds, he finally got to see Victor on the same podium.

 

Victor Nikiforov is still so far up – _the point difference between Victor and Yuuri and Chris was enough to make people cry_ – but if Yuuri closes his eyes and lets himself dream, then he can almost see himself catching up to Victor.

 

Suddenly, he isn’t as desperate as before. Sure, he still wants to – _has to_ – improve, but he gives himself more leeway than before. Such as what he is doing right now: taking Celestino’s offer to go back to Hasetsu for vacation during the off-season. It’s something he used to refuse – _please coach, I need more time to train_ –

 

Celestino looks surprised but relieved when Yuuri accepts the offer this year. _He was worried about you, Yuuri_ , the voice supplies. _The off-season vacation is not only for physical reasons, but also for mental reasons, you know_.

 

Yuuri pauses and says, “Sorry for making you worry.”

 

Celestino smiles brightly. “Don’t worry about it. It is my job to worry about all of you. You pulled through, so everything is great! Have fun, and see you in 3 weeks!”

 

* * *

 

‘So, what theme would be good for this year?’ Yuuri asks as he waits for the plane to arrive.

 

_Hmmm… How about your new realizations about life?_

_Oh, and before I forgot, congratulations on finding a life beyond madly chasing Victor-the-skater!_

 

‘… I’m not that bad.’

 

_Yuuri, for three years you have rejected the offer to take an off-season vacation, not even to go home_

_If Celestino was not a caring and attentive coach, you would have been bedridden by now from all sorts of physical injuries from overworking yourself_

‘… Sorry.’

 

_You have nothing to be sorry to me for. If anything, it is I who is supposed to apologize for not reminding you about it. But I believe that there are some things you just have to find out on your own. So, sorry not sorry~ Teehee~_

* * *

 

Coming back again to Hasetsu feels nice. This time he properly informs everyone before he arrives. Minako-sensei picks him up and he arrives at Yuutopia to be greeted with party popper and a mini-party complete with a huge bowl of katsudon.

 

 

Coming back to Hasetsu feels nice. This time, he had properly informed everyone before he arrived, so after Minako-sensei picks him up, he arrives at Yuutopia and is greeted with party poppers and a small celebration complete with a huge bowl of katsudon.  

 

It is great.

 

The second morning after that, Yuuri opens his eyes, reminds himself that he is on vacation, and moves to hug Vicchan before going back to sleep. Or, in this case, trying to.

He managed to sleep in yesterday due to jet-lag, but habit is a powerful thing that even vacation can’t quite beat.

 

_Well, it is **your** vacation. It is for you to spend however **you** want to_

Yuuri rolls the implication around in his head. He gently – _so as not to wake up Vicchan_ – gets up, and changes into his tracksuit. He is supposed to be trying out Phichit’s _what to do on a vacation_ tips, but after years of following a training schedule, _sleeping in_ is harder than it should be. He still has to restrain himself when _eat all you want_ becomes too tempting, though.

 

March is a beautiful month to be in Japan. The weather is mild and the cherry blossoms are blooming, Yuuri muses as he stops jogging to admire the flowers. He takes out his phone, takes a scenery picture, and posts it online. Tourism promotion.

 

He truly doesn’t expect it when, few hours later, a text comes in from Victor.

 

**_Yuuri, those cherry blossoms are so pretty ♥_ **

 

* * *

 

One and a half weeks into his vacation, Yuuri can be found smiling as he types in another text while waiting for Minako-sensei in her ballet studio.

 

He hadn’t really had any expectations when he traded numbers with Victor. Yuuri thought that Victor had probably been caught in the mood, just like the other skaters, and had given Yuuri his number as a genial joke.

 

But just like how life liked to throw him a cosmic joke or two, sometimes it throws him nice things too.

 

Victor is… somewhat different from what Yuuri had expected him to be. He could be very forgetful, blunt to a fault, and such a diva sometimes. He is also nice, cheery, and caring.

Yuuri realizes that despite having idolized him for more than half his life, he doesn’t know him at all. More precisely, Yuuri knows _Victor Nikiforov, 5 time World gold medalist_ , but he doesn’t know _Victor Nikiforov, the person_.

Years ago, the voice had said that Yuuri needed to _stop projecting your idolization on him,_ and Yuuri finally understands that a little.

 

Yuuri closes his text app and opens his playlist when he hears the ballet studio door open. Minako-sensei says, “Alright, let’s see this choreography of yours.”

 

Yuuri nods, gives his phone to Minako-sensei, and gets into his starting pose in the middle of the studio.

 

Minako presses play and Yuuri moves.

 

[He mimics a person chasing something.

As the music goes on, his movements get even more frantic and desperate.

A few seconds before the end of first half, he gradually slows down and dejectedly bows his head.

Then comes the second half: he suddenly looks sideways and then slowly faces the front, as if he is looking at someone who is moving from his side to the path in front of him.

With newfound determination, he moves again.

But this time, it is excitement and not desperation that fuels him.

At the end, he slows down again, but for a completely different reason as he joyfully smiles and places both hands in front of his heart, like he is happy with what he sees.]

 

Yuuri breaks his final position as he catches his breath, but before he can ask for Minako-sensei’s opinion, she walks towards him and gives him a firm hug.

 

“Yuuri, you’ll get there,” Minako-sensei confidently says.

 

Yuuri hugs her back with a hint of desperation and a half whispered, “Yeah…”

 

* * *

 

“Vitya! Do your training!” Yakov yells at Victor.

 

“Eeee,” Victor whines as he leans on the rink’s fence while typing on his phone. “It’s still my vacation.”

 

Figure skaters on vacation are still recommended(required) to train, albeit not as intensely as when they’re in season.

 

“Grrrr, either get on the ice, or leave!”

 

Victor blinks at the word _leave_ , then he smiles and exclaims, “Yakov, you’re the best! I’ll be back in a week or so!”

 

“What?!” Yakov looks shocked when he sees his student run out. “Wait! Vitya! Vityaaaaaaa!!!!!”

 

* * *

 

Two weeks into his vacation in Hasetsu, Yuuri deadpans at the exceedingly cheerful man in front of him. “So let me get this straight. Yakov told you to leave so you packed your bag, messaged me you’re coming, then turned off your phone because of airplane policy, and now you’re staying here?”

 

“That’s right!”

 

Yuuri wonders if it is a blessing that he is used to nonsensical people – _mainly because of the voice_ – and sighs. Then he smiles and says, “Alright, welcome to Hasetsu then, Victor. How long are you staying?”

 

“A week, with Makkachin~”

 

Yuuri ponders, “I’m sorry but the inn-side of Yuutopia doesn’t allow pets. If you’re okay with it, Makkachin can stay with my family in our side of Yuutopia.”

 

“Yuuri! You’re letting Makkachin stay with you but not me?” Victor looks scandalized.

 

“We don’t have a spare guest room, sorry.”

 

“I can stay with you!”

 

Yuuri eyes Victor, but he really can’t tell whether Victor is serious or not from his smiling face. He recalls what exactly is covering the walls and ceiling of his bedroom, and pales. “Uh, no, no, sorry but no.”

 

“I don’t mind if it is messy”

 

“No, not that.” Yuuri racks his brain to find a way to salvage this situation. “Errr, how about this? If you don’t mind, we can clear one of the unused room and place some furniture there. It will be small and really minimalist though.”

 

“Well it can’t be helped. Okay then.”

 

“Okay” Yuuri then shoots a fond look at Makkachin who is currently sniffing his palm. Apparentlys Makkachin gives him a pass and starts nuzzling him. “Come on then. Let me introduce you to Vicchan.”

 

* * *

 

Two weeks and three days into his vacation, Yuuri finds himself being talked – _half-coerced –_ into performing his new choreography.

 

When Yuuri is finished, Victor comments, “There is a lot of room for improvement.”

 

Yuuri easily nods. His choreography is at its roughest stage – _is almost mere concept really_ – Yuuri hasn’t even asked for Celestino’s opinion, let alone approval, yet.

 

Apparently, Victor isn’t finished, “Your quad salchow is shaky and your free leg is sloppy, but you didn’t look that tired, so I think you can shift your jump composition.”

 

It’s nothing Yuuri hasn’t heard already. Still, hearing that from Victor makes the gap between him and Victor feel very real and big.

 

“But Yuuri,” Victor says, “that was wonderful. I could truly feel your music and emotions. I could see the story.”

 

Yuuri hadn’t expected that from _Victor – gold medallist – Nikiforov_. “Ah… thank you…”

 

“I do wonder,” Victor says, skating closer, “How do you do it, Yuuri? How do you create them with your body?”

 

“It’s almost like acting, I suppose. I try to be the person in the story. Although, since I usually base the story on my life, when I perform, I’m remembering and feeling that point of my life again.”

 

“Hmmm…” Victor looks thoughtful, “So what’s the story based on this time?”

 

Yuuri instinctively avert his eyes.

 

"Yuuri?" 

 

 _Yuuri, tell him the truth or else..._ The voice decides to voice its opinion(threat) during a very glorious moment.

 

Yuuri mentally braces himself as he mutters, “…me chasing after you…”

 

“Really?” Victor says softly, “I'm flattered Yuuri! You’re just so cute!”

 

Yuuri holds back a blush. He really can’t tell if this man is serious or not.

 

“Alright then!” Victor claps his hands, “Once more from the start! I’ll give suggestions while you practice.”

 

“Eh?” Yuuri wonders if he heard that properly.

 

“Come on, Yuuri, time is limited~”

 

“No, wait, _why_?”

 

“I’m helping you refine that, of course,” Victor says like nothing is wrong.

 

Yuuri holds back an exasperated comment, thinking Victor doesn’t even see him as a competitor, which in hindsight, might apply to every other skater too. _Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth,_ was it? 

 

* * *

 

At the end of the day, Yuuri almost, _almost_ , takes that back.

 

Victor Nikiforov(the skater), is a harsh taskmaster. He criticizes each and every mistake with zero mercy. But he is brilliant, a genius even. If Yuuri hadn’t realized before how this person had become the 4-time Worlds champion, he certainly has now.

His instincts in skating are scarily sharp. He takes in everything Yuuri can do, and pushes Yuuri’s choreography to the limit, making it the hardest choreography Yuuri has ever attempted. 

 

And Yuuri is immensely grateful for that.

 

Yuuri offhandedly comments as he tries to catch his breath, “If you can keep your skaters from crying, you could be the greatest coach ever.”

 

“Hmmm,” Victor places one finger on his lips, “Then, Yuuri, if I become a coach, how do you feel about becoming my first student?”

 

“Yeah, sure”, Yuuri smiles as he answers half-jokingly.

 

* * *

 

Yuuri’s third week in Hasetsu marks the end of both his vacation and Victor’s stay in Japan.

 

They’re saying their goodbyes in the airport when Yuuri’s plane arrives. Victor gently hugs Yuuri and says, “See you at the Grand Pix.”

 

Yuuri smiles, hugs back, and replies, “Yeah.”

 

* * *

 

Both Yakov and Victor’s other rink-mates‘ irritation and exasperation are quelled when they see Victor doing his SP routine.

 

During last month’s Worlds, the internet said that:

If you want to watch perfection in human form, watch Victor Nikiforov

If you want to watch porn, but are unable to because your internet provider blocks it, watch Christophe Giacometti

But if you want dem feeeelssss, watch Katsuki Yuuri

 

Right now, Victor resembles Katsuki Yuuri.

Not perfectly, but it’s a close thing. In terms of conveying emotion and a story, if Katsuki Yuuri has 100% opacity (perfectly visible, capable of making you _feel_ the story), Victor used to be at 70% (way better than average) but right now he is at 85% (I can almost _see_ the story).

 

Suddenly, Victor’s decision doesn’t seem as random or outrageous.

 

On Victor’s side, in his FP, _Stay Close to Me_ , instead of just conveying longing, he tries to imagine a story.

_There is a guy who was abandoned by the girl he really loves._

_He doesn’t take it well, so he goes to a bar to drink and drown his sorrows_.

 _After a few glasses of wine, he notices the sorrowful crying of a lady_ ,

_And he thinks, ‘Ah that person the same as me.’_

_So he gently approaches that girl and says, “Hey, when you’re finish with that glass, let’s go somewhere.”_

_…_

_…_

_…_

 

When Victor sees the others’ reactions to his performance, he thinks that this might be it.

Right now, he is unable to completely immerse himself in the story, but that is fine. Good. Great even. Not being able to do something means that he still has room to grow.

People call him perfect, but perfection is not a good thing. Perfect means being stagnant, and having nowhere left to go except _down_.  That _is **it**_.

 _Having room to grow_ sounds better than being _perfect_. 

 

* * *

 

Celestino and Yuuri’s other rink-mates stare wide-eyed at Yuuri’s FP.

Yuuri is famous for his steps and spins, but this routine takes them one level higher. And the jump composition is harsh. It is like the program was created to maximize his technical prowess while bringing out the best of Yuuri’s program components.   

                                                            

Yuuri fails several jumps and is a fraction late in some moves, but if he can perform it perfectly, the score would be _high_. Almost Victor Nikiforov-level high.

 

Celestino holds back the ridiculous question of ‘Did Victor Nikiforov helps you with that choreography?’ and asks the more important question, “Are you sure?”

 

Yuuri’s determined eyes leave no doubt, “Yes coach.”

 

‘If I can’t do this much, I won’t ever be able to catch up with him’, Yuuri believes.

 

* * *

* * *

 

Bonus content (a.k.a stuff that happened, but I can't seem to fit them into the story):

 

* * *

 

The night after meeting Vicchan, Victor lies on his futon while hugging Makkachin tightly.

Vicchan is adorable, but it is rather lethargic.

Yuuri said that the vet says that Vicchan is fine… as fine as an old dog can be fine.

 

“You’ll never leave me right Makkachin”, Victor says in Russian.

 

* * *

 

Victor goes on a morning jog with Yuuri.

The next day he rides a bike.

 

* * *

 

 **Victor Nikiforov** @vnikiforov

Japanese hot spring is great! @yuuri-k didn’t let me take selfies inside it though :(

 

_Starved fans of Victor starts flooding Yuuri's social media account with flames while Yuuri's fans are defending him with flamethrowers._

_In response, Yuuri takes a picture of the hot spring rules and regulation that is plastered on the door._

 

[Image]

 **Yuuri Katsuki** @yuuri-k

It is written in Japanese and _English_ @vnikiforov

 

_Oil is poured into the battlefield_

 

 

[Image]

 **Victor Nikiforov** @vnikiforov

Off-season at Hasetsu Beach with @yuuri-k, great view!

 

_Victor posts a selfie with Yuuri at the beach, both only use their swimming trunks and are sexily drenched._

_The fans agree that it is a **great view** and call a peace treaty._

[Image]

 **Victor Nikiforov** @vnikiforov

Hanami with @yuuri-k, cherry blossoms are so pretty!

_Someone comment that they look good together_

_The peace treaty is shredded into dust size and second (fans) world war erupts_

 

_Yakov hurls his replacement phone._

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  
> 
> Character analysis corner:
> 
>  
> 
> Q : Lack of the voice after Yuuri arrive at Hasetsu.
> 
> A : That’s actually a picture of normal day life between fic!Yuuri and the voice.
> 
> The voice is trying to set up fic!Yuuri for a better, healtier mental life than anime!Yuuri, but reliance is not the way to go.
> 
> We can’t really see it before since I didn’t write it (until now that is), but the voice is generally quiet unless fic!Yuuri is in danger of ruining himself, his future or if  he need opinions/answers -let Yuuri live his own life as much as possible-
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> Q : Why Victor isn’t as clingy as anime!Victor
> 
> A : First impression. And mindset.
> 
>  
> 
> Anime!Victor was running on the assumption that anime!Yuuri’s personality is the same as drunk!anime!Yuuri, so he reacts accordingly (some blog even said that anime!victor is subtly(or not) seducing anime!yuuri).
> 
> Except from anime!Yuuri, anime!Victor isn’t clingy to anyone else. 
> 
>  
> 
> Fic!Victor is see fic!Yuuri as a decent skater, with nice personality, that is capable of creating story and surprise (remember that “surprising people” is Victor’s motto, he appreciate the ability to do that).
> 
> His intention on coming to Hasetsu is on a selfish side really. He is running low on inspiration and motivation, so he came to that one skater in abstract hope of finding something.  
> 
>  
> 
> Remember that anime!Victor said to anime!Yuri that he skate with [just] feelings, when fic!Yuuri tells him that fic!Yuuri is acting a story, he get a vague hint (of sort).
> 
>  
> 
> And when fic!Yuuri told him that his story this time is based on fic!Yuuri chasing him, he is struck with the realization that “Oh, so there is this skater that deliver stories better than he did and this time he base his story on chasing me -so I’m still able to inspire people-”, so he got happy and decide to help fic!Yuuri a bit as a thank you.
> 
>  
> 
> Q : This will probably broke hearts, but, that hug on the airport?
> 
> A : Uh, use google translate if you really want to know (at your own victuuri risk), 彼らの最初の抱擁と友情タイプで, 愛ですはない
> 
>  
> 
> Q : This is a victuuri fic right?
> 
> A : Yessss, I’m trying my best* right now.
> 
> *On how to create victuuri without going out of character.
> 
>  


	5. 22-23 (Grand Prix)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unlike ch 1-4 , this one isn't proofreaded by [myvividreams](http://archiveofourown.org/users/myvividreams/profile)
> 
>    
> So... warning:  
> I confess that I don’t understand tenses and singular/plural  
> English is not my first language… and my first language doesn’t have tenses and singular/plural, so yeah~ yaaay?
> 
> I try really hard for this chapter, but please forgive me and make your own mental corrections as you read. (And please informs me if you’re feeling generous)
> 
> All of these are suppose to be in present tense… except for mentioning the past… wait you use past tense when mentioning the past right…? Urgh #ripGrammar
> 
>  
> 
> Bold and Italics are text messages

0-0-0-0

Young Yuuri & The Voice

Years ago

0-0-0-0

 

‘Can’t you just… give me the answers?’, young Yuuri sulks as he works on his math homework.

 

_I can~_ , the voice easily answers.

 

‘Then what is the answer for this one?’

 

_I can, but I never say I would_

 

‘But why?’, young Yuuri whines, math homework always takes too long to complete.

 

_So that **you** can of course_

 

‘But you’re me! I mean, a part of me?’

 

_Yuuri, if there is a saying that nothing lasts forever._

_I might be a part of you now, but who knows for how long_

 

 

Young Yuuri paused and horrified-ly asks, ‘You’re _leaving_?’

 

_Hmmm, that is not for me to decide_

_But personally, I don’t plan to leave._

_Well at least until you are strong enough to stand on your own_

 

* * *

 

0-0-0-0

22

0-0-0-0

* * *

 

0-0-0-0

May

0-0-0-0

**_Yuuri, help :( ?_ **

****

**_Sure, what can I do for you Victor? :)_ **

****

**_I can’t seem to get the story right for this piece @_@_ **

**_What would you think if you’re the one who skates to this?_ **

**_[media file sent]_ **

****

**_Oh is this for your Free? :0_ **

****

**_Yep~_ **

****

**_Sounds great! :D_ **

**_Wait a minute, let me think_ **

****

****

**_Thank you, Yuuri :D :D :D !_ **

**_Take your time :D_ **

****

* * *

****

**_Recording_ ** **_of my short_ **

**_As per requested :)_ **

**_[video file sent]_ **

****

**_It’s beautiful skating as always Yuuri ;)_ **

**_Now for that first jump_ **

**_…_ **

**_…_ **

**_…_ **

* * *

 

 

**_Someone commented that my choreography_ **

**_Don’t look like what I usually made_ **

**_Which made me realize how much you’ve influence it_ **

**_Sorry for not asking earlier but,_ **

**_Do you want your name as one of the choreographers?_ **

****

****

**_Whatever you’re most comfortable with Yuuri ^^_ **

****

****

**_I would like to give credit where it due_ **

**_But do you mind [your name] being placed?_ **

****

****

**_Of course not Yuuri :0_ **

**_Any choreographer would be happy_ **

**_If you place their name on anything you skate to ;)_ **

 

 

* * *

 

 

0-0-0-0

June

0-0-0-0

 

**_Makkachin_ ** **_says goodnight_ **

**_[image file sent]_ **

****

**_Makkachin_ ** **_is so cute!_ **

**_Here is my Vicchan saying goodnight_ **

**_[image file sent]_ **

****

****

* * *

**** ****

**_Whenever I step out of the rink_ **

**_I swear I’m going to melt :(_ **

**_:(_ **

**_Be careful of heatstroke_ **

 

* * *

0-0-0-0

July

0-0-0-0

Yuuri has a bucket of cold water dump onto him.

 

It goes like this;

 

“So who is that lucky person?”, Phichit says in teasing tone as he nudges Yuuri.

Yuuri looks up from his phone and questions, “What are you saying?”

 

“Well, you used to spend your break time closing your eyes and well… _thinking_ about stuff? But now you’re always on your phone. I thought you finally discover the beauty of instagram, twitter, and facebook since you’re reading and typing. But your post counts is still abysmally low, so~

Congratulations on finding a girlfriend!”, Phichit cheerfully says as he claps his hands.

 

Yuuri gasps, that insinuates Victor being his _girlfriend_ , which is, “Phichit, no!”

 

Phichit’s smile is annoyingly sincere as he says, “It’s okay Yuuri. I just want to you know that I’m here if you need me”, then he bolt back to the rink.

 

Yuuri lets out strangled noises as his mind is running on full chaotic speed.

Victor is a great friend and Yuuri really likes him, but he can’t, _they_ can’t be in _that kind_ of relationship.

Not to mention, _girl_ friend. Victor with his silky long hair, beautifully handsome face, and diva personality, he- oh my god Yuuri can’t believe he just thought of that.

 

Yuuri takes a deep breath and counts backward from 10 to calm himself and shoves back his ridiculous thought.

But did he really spend so much time on his phone? A quick mental flashback reveals that yes, Yuuri spends almost all the time he used to spend by talking with _the voice,_ to chat with Victor.

 

And cold water is dumped on him.

 

Since he finished his (the voice dictated) thesis last month, the voice is virtually silent except for occasional singing to help Yuuri feel his program’s songs.

 

In the first place the voice believes in leaving Yuuri alone as long as he didn’t need it, but before this, Yuuri always draws the voice into conversations.

Why won’t he? Its randomness and nonsensical attitude aside, the voice is the most constant presence in his life, a source for him to draw strength and positivity from.

 

Did _cast aside_ the voice for Victor?

 

_Yuuri, chill_

 

Yuuri starts apologizing, ‘I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-’

 

_Chillllll_ the voice cut him off

 

‘But I-’

 

_Look Yuuri, I didn’t mind you when you’re nothing but a blob of flesh with no real personality, I certainly don’t mind you right now._

 

‘… It still doesn’t make it right for me to ignore you like that …’

 

_Yuuri, in case you develop a case of selective amnesia, I’m the one who pushed you and Victor to be **friends**. And you guys did, I’m a happy voice right now._

‘… still …’, Yuuri tries to protest.

 

The voice let out exasperated sighs, _look Yuuri, it’s either stop feeling guilty or let me choose your next dance class_

 

Yuuri paused, last time the voice choose a dance class for him, it is that – _more sensuality!_ \- Argentine Tango…………. Well, he had been neglecting the voice……. Yuuri grudgingly gives his consent. It can’t be that bad right?

 

* * *

 

‘It is not _that bad’_ , Yuuri thought as he stares at the thin shiny silver _stripper pole_ in front of him, ‘it is _worse_ than _that bad_.’

 

‘Why, whyyyy’, Yuuri wails.

 

_Contingency plan_ the voice sounds serious.

 

‘For _what_ exactly?’

 

The voice doesn't answer and Yuuri is stuck, alone, with a semi-burning face as the instructor display series of movement that they will learn in this beginner pole dancing class.

 

Whatever guilt Yuuri has from ignoring the voice is definitely burned out by now. 

 

* * *

 

Yuuri’s saving grace is that the instructor notices his shyness and unwillingness, takes pity, and let him focus on the techniques only. Yuuri doesn't think he will be able to live if the instructor forces him to _feel it_.

 

Without demand of _feel it_ , pole dancing is a rather neat sport(exercise).

 

Huh, it is not _that bad_ after all.

 

Until someone secretly takes a picture of him and posts it online.

 

Yuuri locates and begs that person to take it down.

 

But the _damage_ is done.

 

Yuuri’s hand is shaking as his phone displays a message from Victor saying, [Waaaooo~ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥].

 

He bleaches his memory when _Christophe Giacometti_ send pictures of himself, wearing only a speedo, sensually pole dancing while saying, [This is how you’re supposed to do it Yuuri!]

 

Phichit laughs, admits that he had saved that picture, and offers Yuuri to posts it on his instagram. Which Yuuri responds by groveling for him to stop, don’t do it.

 

* * *

**_Waaaooo~ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥_ **

**_Pole dancing Yuuri?_ **

****

**_AAAAAAA_ **

**_No!_ **

**_I mean_ **

**_Yes I take a beginner pole dancing class_ **

**_But someone forces me into it >___<_ **

****

**_Oh my, I have to thank that person then_ **

**_Your girlfriend?_ **

****

**_What?!_ **

**_No!_ **

****

**_Your boyfriend?_ **

****

**_Victor, no!_ **

****

**_Your lover then?_ **

****

**_Stop ;_ ** **__;_ **

**_It’s not like that_ **

**_I can’t even imagine having those types_ **

**_Of relationship with that person_ **

**_It would be like…_ **

**_Dating my parents?_ **

**_No, just no TT_TT_ **

****

**_Parents?_ **

****

**_Yes, someone who takes care of me_ **

**_And I owe that person a lot_ **

****

**_Oh_ **

**_By the way, Yuuri_ **

**_Your expression is too neutral_ **

**_You should try this_ **

**_[Image File Sent]_ **

****

**_OAO Victor!_ **

**_I just erase that from my memory!_ **

****

**_You’ve seen that?_ **

****

**_Chris sent me along with message like yours_ **

**_You should do it like this!_ **

****

**_You text often with Chris?_ **

****

**_No, actually, this is the second time he text me_ **

**_First_ ** **_time being when you post your selfie with me_ **

**_Back at Hasetsu_ **

**_He said, why don’t you guys invite me?!_ **

* * *

 

0-0-0-0

August

0-0-0-0

**_This is my coach, Yakov!_ **

**_[image file sent]_ **

****

**_Oh, is he alright?_ **

**_He looks angry_ **

****

**_Yakov is a softie underneath all his gruff exterior haha_ **

****

****

* * *

 

****

**_This is Phichit Chulanot, my best friend_ **

**_[image file sent]_ **

****

**_Oh I know, his selfies are well done!_ **

****

**_… Should I ask how do you know?_ **

****

**_I scroll through his instagram :)_ **

“Huh”, Yuuri says from his bed, “Do you know Victor scrolls through your instagram Phichit?”

 

“Victor as in Victor Nikiforov?”, Phichit confirms.

 

“Yea, him.”

 

“Did he really?”, Phichit quickly opens his instagram.

 

“Oh I see”, Phichit says as he looks at the list of pictures that @vnikiforov likes, “Oh I seeeee”.

 

Phichit then quickly take a candid picture of Yuuri and send it to @vnikiforov.

**_Hi Victor, this is Phichit_ **

**_Yuuri said you’re scrolling my instagram_ **

**_Looking for this?_ **

**_[image file sent]_ **

****

****

**_!!! Yes Phichit ♥_ **

**_You’re awesome!_ **

Phichit gets his confirmation on Victor, but how about Yuuri?

 

“I think Victor likes you Yuuri”, Phichit tests.

 

“Well, we’re friends?”

 

“No, not that way, the I-like-you-so-I-want-to-date-you kind of like.”

 

“Phichit, you’re being ridiculous”, Yuuri offhandedly comment.

 

‘Yuuri is honestly oblivious as usual’, Phichit observes, ‘in that case’.

 

**_Look Nikiforov_ **

**_I’m Yuuri’s best friend_ **

****

**_I know? Yuuri told me_ **

****

**_If you hurt Yuuri_ **

**_I’ll do whatever it takes to take you down_ **

**_And drag your name through the mud :D_ **

**_Alright? ;)_ **

****

**_:(_ **

**_Yuuri is precious to me!_ **

**_I would never do that :( :( :( !_ **

****

**_I’ll take your words :)_ **

****

‘Since Yuuri seems happier these days’

 

* * *

0-0-0-0

September

0-0-0-0

 

**_What do you think?_ **

**_[media file sent]_ **

****

Yuuri sent Victor the latest recording of his SP and FS

**_You’re beautiful Yuuri :’)_ **

**_Ah, thank you?_ **

**_I take that it is passable?_ **

 

**_More than mere passable_ **

**_You’re giving me a run for the gold_ **

**_And my heart ♥♥♥_ **

 

**_You’re flattering me too much Victor ^^;_ **

****

**_This might sound pessimistic_ **

**_But I’ll be happy if I can get_ **

**_Within 30 points gap with you :(_ **

 

* * *

 

**_Good night Yuuri ♥_ **

**_[image file sent]_ **

****

****

Yuuri stares at the picture Victor just sent, a selfie of him on his bed.

Yuuri refuse to think much of it as he saves the picture on his secret password protected folder of Victor Nikiforov pictures.  

**_Good night Victor ^^_ **

 

* * *

**_Phichit help :(_ **

****

**_Is this about how Yuuri can’t seem_ **

**_To get a clue?_ **

****

**_Yes! How do you know?_ **

‘You’re not the first one’, Phichit thought, ‘Well that guy has been trying for months. I suppose I can help him a bit.’

 

**_My best friend Yuuri here_ **

**_Can be really dense_ **

**_Try to be more direct?_ **

****

What Phichit didn’t say is that Yuuri has been crushing on that guy since… forever? And probably in denial right now.

****

**_Ok thanks, Phichit!_ **

****

Phichit really wants Yuuri to be happy, but he isn’t going to make it _easy_ for Victor. If Victor can’t get his feelings across by his own, then he is just not good enough for Yuuri.

 

**_You’re welcome :)_ **

****

* * *

 

**_Good enough to take home?_ **

**_[image file sent]_ **

 

Yuuri sighs as he looks at another selfie picture that Victor sent. This time is him wearing rather sexy powder blue shirt. That man always looks great in anything he wears.

 

**_Sure! Looks good enough to be bought :)_ **

****

****

* * *

0-0-0-0

October

0-0-0-0

 

Time flew when you’re having fun, or in Yuuri’s case, working hard while slipping in a little bit of fun in between. 

 

With October, comes in ISU’s Grand Pix lineup.

 

This time Yuuri is assigned to Skate America and NHK Trophy, while Victor gets Skate Canada International and Trophee de France.

 

Yuuri let out a disappointed sigh, seems like he wouldn’t be able to meet Victor if he didn’t get to Final.

 

Minutes later a text arrive from Victor,

**_Can’t meet you until final :(_ **

****

**_Final will be in Russia though_ **

**_I’ll show you around!_ **

****

Yuuri replies

**_Yeah :(_ **

Then he thinks about it, Celestino wouldn’t mind if he stays for 1-2 more day right? 

**_Sure, that would be great :D!_ **

****

****

**_Yaaay, it’s a date then_ ** **♥**

****

Yuuri exhales slowly then google the word.

**_ Date Definition; _ **

**__ **

**_ 4a) an appointment to meet at a specified time _ ** **.**

Recently Victor picks up a hobby of teasing him by making his words ambiguous.

One of these days, Yuuri is going to take the meaning wrongly…

**_Looking forward to it ^^_ **

 

 

_… Alright, that’s it …_

 

Yuuri blinks.

It has been almost a month since he last heard the voice, ‘Something wrong?’ 

 

_Yuuri, give Victor a chance_

‘For what?’

 

_You **know** what_

 

‘...’

 

_I wasn't planning to interfere with your love life_

_But Yuuri, give Victor a chance_

 

Yuuri grips his phone. At this point, even _he_ knows he is in denial, still…

 

_You see Yuuri,_ the voice continues _, **in the end, we only regret the chances we didn’t take**_

 

‘I… I don’t know if I deserve him’.

 

_That is up to him to decide…_

_And I think you already know what his decision is_

 

Yuuri stay silent for a while.

 

* * *

 

Skate America is the earliest of leading Grand Pix.

 

And Yuuri brings _chaos_ even before his SP start as the announcer announces;

 

“For our last skater on this Men Short Program, representing Japan, Yuuri Katsuki, age 22.

His music is [Fight Song] and the choreographer is the skater himself and Victor Nikiforov”

 

_Chaos_ ensues.

 

Lots of people, mainly Victor’s fans, start tagging Victor’s social media account to ask, or in some extreme cases, _informs_.

 

 

@vnikiforov did you really help @yuuri-k with his choreography?

 

Wait, did Yuuri Katsuki really state that his choreography is made by him and @vnikiforov? Or is it just announcement error?

 

@vnikiforov some random Japanese skater dare use your name >: (

 

 

Victor’s response wait until Yuuri’s SP is finished, or more like, he didn’t bother doing anything else other than watching Yuuri’s SP.

 

With a smile, Victor takes a picture of Yuuri and his SP score being announced at the Kiss&Cry. Yuuri’s SP score is 98.37, a high score and new personal best.

 

[Image]

**Victor Nikiforov** @vnikiforov

@yuuri-k Yuuri that was awesome! **♥**

I’m honored that you place my name on that choreography!

#shortProgram #congrats! #happy #proud #choreography #honored #GPSkateAmerica #YuuriKatsuki

 

Curious people are satisfied while rabid Victor fans are showering him with praises him for generosity and how Yuuri wouldn’t be able to do that without Victor’s help.

 

Victor ignores them all.

 

Actually, there is one thing he doesn’t ignore, Yakov’s incoming call.

 

“Yakov! Hi!”, Victor cheerfully greets him then extends his arm to distance his phone from his ears.

 

“VITYAAAAAA!!!!!”, Yakov shouts.

 

Victor waits till Yakov is done shouting and then lowers the volume a bit, just in case.

 

“Yakov you’re so energetic even at night~”

 

* * *

****

**_People was flooding my social media account_ **

**_And Yakov shouted at me xD_ **

****

****

**_They flood mine too ==a_ **

**_Wait, Yakov did?_ **

**_Errr sorry…_ **

**_Maybe I shouldn’t do that… :(_ **

****

****

**_What are you talking about Yuuri :(_ **

**_I’m ecstatic that you decide to place my name :D_ **

**_Don’t worry about Yakov_ **

**_He just love to shout and scold_ **

**_But deep down, he gets it_ **

**_You’re helping me so I’m helping you_ **

**_Win-Win right ♥_ **

****

**_I believe that you help me more than I help you :(_ **

****

**_Oh_ ** **_Yuuri, trust me, [I] believe that you help me more ;)_ **

**_Skating is not the only thing that you help me you know_ ** **♥**

 

* * *

 

Skate Canada is the second leading Grand Pix.

 

Victor’s SP didn’t bring _chaos_ like Yuuri’s did. Or rather, Victor’s SP stuns the audience into silence, until a few seconds later they _roar_.

 

Victor takes a selfie of himself on the Kiss&Cry then posts it.

 

[Image]

**Victor Nikiforov** @vnikiforov

@yuuri-k Can’t do it without you **♥**

#shortProgram #newWorldRecord #happy #GPSkateCanada #YuuriKatsuki

 

* * *

 

**_That was amazing! Stunning! Awesome!_ **

**_Urgh my English vocabularies are not good enough_ **

**_To express how wonderful that is ;_;_ **

**_Congratulations Victor!_ **

****

**_All thanks to you Yuuri! ♥♥♥♥_ **

****

**_Please, you’re flattering me again p__q_ **

****

**_Not flattery, I’m very serious >: ]_ **

**_You’re silly :’)_ **

 

* * *

 

That night, Yakov and Celestino are working hard on the PR side to sell _that_ as healthy competition and mutual aid between the skaters.

 

It easily works.

 

* * *

 

Some salty people are using dummy accounts to privately send flames to Yuuri’s account.

 

Yuuri screen-shoot them and sends them to Victor.

**_Seems like some people aren’t happy that I’m helping you :/_ **

**_[image file sent]_ **

 

**_Are you?_ **

**_Unhappy with me being better?_ **

**_Victor, you should’ve known already :)_ **

****

**_You getting further simply mean_ **

**_That I should try harder right?_ **

****

**_!! ♥_ **

**_Wish you were here so that I could hug you ♥_ **

Later Victor teaches him about filtering and ignoring _unimportant_ messages.

* * *

 

Victor gets his wish the day Yuuri arrive at a hotel in Sochi, Russia.

 

“Welcome to Russia Yuuri!”, Victor exclaims as he hugs Yuuri on the lobby, “It has been too long since I saw you!”

 

Yuuri readily hugs back and replies in a softer voice, “Yeah… I miss you.”

 

“I miss you too!”

 

*cough* Celestino lets out a fake cough.

 

Yuuri immediately releases Victor with a blush on his face.

Victor has a disappointed face.

 

In a display emotion that is remarkably similar to what protective parents would have, Celestino sternly stares at Victor as he says, “We has just arrived, would you mind to let us rest?”

 

Victor changes his facial expression to a default smile as he replies, “Of course not!”

His smile looks softer as he turns his head and looks at Yuuri, “See you tomorrow?”

Yuuri smiles back, “Sure!”

 

* * *

 

Yuuri never thought that he would receive a lecture on _healthy relationship_ - _parents’ style_ \- from Celestino.

In hindsight, Celestino has always been a caring type of coach, and while Yuuri had to shelf his anger when Celestino mention possibilities of Victor sabotaging him, 'seriously, it is as if Celestino choose to ignore Victor’s hands on my SP and FS choreography. And both are new personal records!'

Yuuri understood that Celestino is just worried about him. As a person and as a coach.

So Yuuri just nods, and try his best to convey that, _yes coach I **know**_ and _no coach, I’m perfectly sure that Victor **isn’t**  just messing around with me_.

 

* * *

 

With them having their SP tomorrow, they can’t do anything too fancy or tiring. Or at least Yuuri can’t.

 

After a bit of sight-seeing, Victor brings him to a quaint but classy family restaurant. He had fun recommending and describing Russian food which he thinks Yuuri might like.

 

When their order arrives, Yuuri half-jokingly mocks as he mentally tolls the amount of alcohol that Victor consumes, “Russians”. Honestly, it is rather normal, but Yuuri doesn't intake any so he reserves the right to mocks.

 

Victor smirks, “Yep, we’re Russians. We don’t drink water, only vodka.”

 

Yuuri snorts but he is smiling as he teases, “Yesss, just blame it on me for not stopping you if you lose then.”

 

“I won’t lose”, Victor confidently replies.

 

Yuuri rolls his eyes, “Of course. God forbid Victor - _the diva_ \- Nikiforov from losing right.”

 

“ _The diva_?”, Victor badly fakes an outrage.

 

“I have a mirror if you need it”, Yuuri offers.

 

They look at each other and laugh.

 

When they calm down, Victor says, “How about a bet then?”

 

“A bet?”

 

“Yep, the winner of this Grand Pix should treat the loser whatever he wants.”

 

Yuuri raises an eyebrow, “Shouldn’t it be the other way around?”

 

“Nah this way is better. I’m taking you on a shopping trip after the Final. Some of your wardrobes didn’t suit you Yuuri!”

 

“I take it back”, Yuuri says, “You’re not a diva. You’re an _ice daddy_.”

 

“ _Ice daddy_?”, Victor repeats then he gives Yuuri a lazy smile, “For you, I certainly don’t mind being that.”

 

That renders Yuuri speechless. Really, Yuuri should’ve known better than to play with words with _Victor Nikiforov_.  

 

“You’re silly”, Yuuri can only fondly repeat what he always says when Victor does this.

 

* * *

 

Yuri Plisetsky places his head onto his hand as he sits and watches the Senior Men’s GPF SP starts.

 

He frowns when he sees that old man, Victor, happily looking at the first skater to go, that Japanese Yuuri – _urgh same name as him_ \- Katsuki.

Before this, Victor _never_ watches any of his competitors’ SP.

 

 

He frowns harder.

 

 

It took Yuri _years_ of being on the same rink as Victor to get a promise that Victor would choreograph his routine, and even then, with that old man’s forgetfulness, Yuri isn’t sure that he would even remember.

 

_Katsuki_ , in _one week_ , somehow manages to catch Victor’s eyes enough to make Victor choreograph _his_ performance.

 

 

What is so good about _Katsuki_?

 

Yuri scowls as announcer introduces _Katsuki_ and his SP begin.

 

Yuri won’t forgive _Katsuki_ if he messes up _Victor_ ’s choreography.

 

 

* * *

 

Yuri stares with wide eyes as he watches _Katsuki_ bows to the audience.

 

He really hates to admit it, but _Katsuki_ is _good_.

 

“Yuuri that was great!”, that old man, Victor’s shouts reaches him. 

 

Yuri puffs his left cheeks, _Katsuki_ might be _good_ , but next year Yuri will still wipe the floor with _his_ and _Victor_ ’s ass.

 

* * *

 

Celestino raises his eyebrows but chooses not to comment as Yuuri says, “Ah, if you like you can go back first?”

 

Yuuri usually dislike watching other skaters – _it will only make me nervous_ \- so he usually came just before his number and leaves immediately after his Kiss&Cry interview is done.

 

‘Well there is always one exception to that rule’, Celestino thought as he stays with Yuuri.

 

The second skater is halfway through his SP. A Canadian called J.J., Celestino vaguely remembers _strongly advising_ that young man, years ago when he is just a kid, to stop insisting on his J.J. Style. In the end, J.J. quits and searches for another coach.

 

“It’s J.J. Style!!!”

 

Celestino frowns as J.J. kisses the ice.

 

While having personal flair isn’t a bad thing, that _J.J. Style_ is just obnoxious.

 

As J.J. leaves for the Kiss&Cry, the third skater prepares himself.

 

And of course, Yuuri is here for the third skater, _Victor Nikiforov_ , and not the second one.

 

Yakov Feltsman is gruffly saying something in Russian while Victor calmly – _confidently_ \- smiles and replies something.

 

“Victor! Davai!”, Yuuri exclaims.

 

Victor brightens as he winks at Yuuri then waves as he goes to the center.

 

Celestino holds back a sigh. He swore PR used to be easier.

 

* * *

 

[Image]

**ISeekateIng** @skate4life

Lol, look who I found not bothering to watch other skaters @vnikiforov @yuuri-k

#shortProgram #GPF #Sochi #Russia #YuuriKatsuki #VictorNikiforov

 

The image is of Victor and Yuuri happily sitting together in one of the venue’s café while the SP is still ongoing. 

 

**@EasyGoing** lol!

**@SaltyMuch** both of them have no respects for other skaters :(

**@SupportFan** @SaltyMuch please, don’t you look at their SP scores? @yuuri-k 103.10 and @vnikiforov 118.95. If I had that score, esp Victor’s, I won’t bother watching others too @_@

**@Shippers** they look so good together **_♥_**

**@ShipperDrowner** @Shippers how dumb are you? At best, they’re just friends ~_~

**@CaptainHere** if you look at past competitions’ records, both @vnikiforov and @yuuri-k never bother to watch their competitors.

**@onitseleC** @CaptainHere Yes, both @vnikiforov and @yuuri-k have a tendency to not want to watch their competitor so they’re just being friendly and use the time to chat with each other. For @yuuri-k, he doesn't watch so that he won’t get nervous, you can see it from the interview here.

 

* * *

 

Yuuri closes his eyes and zones out as the 3rd to last performing skater, Chris, skates his FP. 

 

If he thinks about it, his mentality this year is way too different from last years. He used to rely heavily on the voice’s mental support, but this time he barely feels nervous, mostly just excited. No matter how many times he had skate in a competition with Victor, it is always an exciting thing. Like a dream come true over and over again.

 

Chris finishes his FP, 198.21 points. His total point is 283.81.

 

Yuuri exhales. He is the 2nd to the last skater, and with Chris’s FP score revealed, he knows that even with some misses, his point will still be high enough that he’ll keep his 2nd place.

As for 1st… Victor Nikiforov is on a level so high from everyone else that nobody, _nobody_ , expects him to win 1st.

 

While this rather lax mentality is not bad for competition - _well not as bad as full blown nervousness he used to have_ -, but he can’t let himself get use to this.

 

“Yuuri! Ganba!”, Victor cheers.

 

Yuuri can’t help the smile on his face, 'I would really love to [get within 30 points gap with Victor] this time.’

 

Yuuri waves back at Victor and gathers his fighting spirits. He might not win gold, but he sure isn’t going back without honoring _their_ choreography.

 

* * *

 

Yuuri’s free scores 205.90.

Another new personal best.

But still not good enough.

 

Yuuri helplessly smiles as he looks at Victor’s scores.

FP: 224.38

Total: 343.29

 

Both are new world records.

 

34.29 point difference between Yuuri’s total and Victor’s total.

  
Yuuri tries to let it go, obsessing on the _what if_ ’s never done him good before.

…

…

…

He calls it a success when the voice didn’t comment at all.

 

* * *

 

Yuuri was prepared to follow whatever it is that Victor would say about their relationship in his interview. He is aware that Victor’s public persona is vastly different from his real one.

Nothing surprising since [selecting the best answers for your career] is a basic course in competitive figure skating.

Yuuri doesn't want to make a blunder answer for either of them.

Luckily for him, Victor, being the gold medalist, is always being interview first.

 

As usual, Victor gives his standard _sounds good enough to be an answer but is actually pretty vague_ and _you can’t tell whether I’m serious or not, can you?_ answers. Until…

 

“Are you planning to retire?”

“Only if Yuuri is willing to accept me as his coach~”, Victor says in joking manner.

‘Victor! Wait his tone is joking, I can use that’

 

“If you’re not planning to retire, then what is your plan after this?”

Victor grins at this, “Firstly, I would like to cash in my bet with Yuuri.”

‘Victor!!!’

 

“A bet?”

“Yes, the winner of this GPF will pay for the loser’s shopping expense!”, Victor sounds too happy for someone who is about to lose money.

Yuuri mentally writhes while trying his best to keep his expressions straight.

 

“Isn’t that supposes to be the other way around?”

“Isn’t this better this way? After all, I’m Yuur-”

“Victor!”, Yuuri sharply calls out, he has a very bad feeling of what the complete sentence is.

Victor just places his best _I’m innocent_ smile.

 

In the end, Victor rectifies his previous sentences. Claiming that he was mostly joking.  

 

* * *

 

When they get some time alone together after that, Yuuri ask Victor, “What was that for?”

 

Victor smiles but his eyes aren't smiling and don't answer.

 

_Yuuri_ ,the voice calls out

_Victor just breaks two world records_

_What is the last thing he wanted to be asked?_

****

Yuuri mentally reviews Victor’s interview, ‘… His retirement…?’

****

_Yes, his retirement._

_Figure skating is a harsh career with painfully short career time_

_You know that a_ _nd **he** knows that_

_So those reporters asking him about his retirement since years ago, every time he wins something is…_

The voice doesn’t continue, but Yuuri doesn't need it to.

 

 

“Hey Victor”, Yuuri starts as he looks directly into Victor’s eyes.

 

Victor looks back, senses the rather somber and serious mood Yuuri have and drops his smile.

 

 

“You know that I skate because of you right?”

 

Victor silently nods.

 

 

“And you know that I’m making you my goal.”

 

Another nod.

 

 

“Victor, I really like skating with you”, Yuuri give a small smile,

 

“And it is really hard for me to believe that I can catch up to you.

 

But Victor

 

I really don’t mind if I never reach my goal

 

If that means I can skate with you forever”

 

 

Victor looks at Yuuri with wide eyes.

 

 

“Because you see

 

While your score compels me to be better

 

It is _you_ that compels me to skate

 

So this is really selfish of me

 

But… I wish you would never retire”

 

 

Victor hugs Yuuri and gives another silent nods.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A hint of anti LGBT content if you squint.  
> Because as much as I would love to pretend, neither Japan nor Russia supports LGBT rights and I’m sure neither Yuuri nor Victor is raised with “LGBT is ok” mindset.  
> The only bright side is Japan is somewhat accepting (despite not legalizing) LGBT.  
> Russia is harsh on LGBT, but Victor is Victor… 
> 
> Oh my god Yuuri is in Russia for season 2
> 
> Ok, let’s stop here before someone burns me, witch trial style.
> 
> Let’s just take it as a show on how love conquers all…愛が勝つダ!!!
> 
> edit (add) : though in the interview Kubo-sensei says something along the line of she wants to make a love story regardless of gender? 
> 
> (writes wish write list for S2 : alive!makkachin, domestic, euro, four continent, Yuuri no-miss skate, alien!victor winning russian with only <2 weeks of practice, etc etc) 
> 
> That aside, All Hail Time Lapse-Sama!  
> *cough*  
> I do try to show their progress, hopefully, it comes out ok… 
> 
> May: Skating related topics (professional topics)  
> June: Safe topics like dogs and weather  
> July: Victor taking interest in Yuuri  
> August: Both are introducing their important people (complete with protective BFF Phichit)  
> Sept: pinning!victor with in-denial!yuuri  
> Oct: [what is this that I’m writing?] 
> 
> random (add) :  
> So the person who is responsible for me watching YoI said just now, “How are you still there(hooked on YoI)”
> 
> This is 1000% my response
> 
> http://izanami-no-ookami.tumblr.com/post/155774641178/if-youthink-i-havegotten-over-theseyou-are-goddamn


	6. 23 (December - April)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reminder Note: I have no clue at all on real life figure skating, so take everything mentioned in this fic with a grain of salt.
> 
>  
> 
> Warning: Don’t read this if you have a bad day #feels
> 
>  
> 
> Hopefully, I’ve stock enough good will on ch1-5 else you guys will really hate me after this chapter.
> 
>  
> 
> _You have been warned._

 

0-0-0-0

Victor’s Corner

0-0-0-0

 

[To surprise] isn’t always his motto.

 

 

When he thinks back, that particular motto stems from the way people react when he achieves something. Surprise.

 

His mother is surprised when her son takes his first skating experience like a duck to water.

 

His first figure skating instructor is surprised at his learning capabilities.

 

Yakov is surprised when he discovers a hidden gem in him.

 

Everyone is surprised when he wins his first Junior National at a very young age.

 

They're even more surprised when he did the same to Junior Grand Prix, Junior World and then the Senior series.

 

 

He revels in their surprise and at some point he starts counting his achievements in how many and well can he surprise people instead of the pile of ever increasing gold medals.

 

And that’s when he decided that his motto is [to surprise].

 

 

That motto serves him well, because [to surprise] means that he have to break people’s expectations, and the easiest way to do that is to get better, get so much better than what people would expect him to.

 

His ability as a figure skater thrives, Yakov encourages it, the media loves it and the sponsors search for it.

 

 

Until he can’t do it anymore.

 

 

There are only so many times he could go up until he reaches the very highest point.

 

 

People are surprised when he gets there.

 

But when he stays there…

 

Watching an unmoving object is far for [surprising], it is stagnant, boring.

 

Then people have enough and start urging him to move.

 

And the only way to move from the top is down down down.

 

 

He can’t.

 

 

From here he can't see the bottom and since he is always trying to go up, he doesn't even know the safe way to go down, let alone what awaits for him.

 

It is too terrifying that he refuses to even think about it.

 

 

So he ignores all those [are you going to retire?] questions –hey, can’t you get down already? We want something new, something interesting, something surprising–.

 

* * *

 

The view from the top is pretty, but it is cold and lonely.

 

The worse part of it is that after a while, he gets bored of the view.

 

* * *

 

 

The top is cold, lonely and has a boring unchanging view.

 

He starts to consider going down, but the idea is frightening.

 

* * *

 

Should he just go down…?

 

* * *

 

Yuuri Katsuki happens.

 

And for the first time, instead of looking up while thinking about going down, he looks down.

 

* * *

 

At first, he only looks down to learn how Yuuri climbs up.

 

He did that and he climbs up the previously invisible path.

 

He gets back his ability [to surprise] people.

 

* * *

 

Climbing up don’t feel as exhilarating as it used to be.

Is it because he has been climbing too much that it lost its luster?

Or is it because he subconsciously knows that one day, this path up too will stop.

And he’ll be _there_ all over again.

 

* * *

 

He still looks down sometimes, if only because watching Yuuri is more interesting than the view.

 

* * *

 

He looks down because he likes watching Yuuri

 

* * *

 

He looks down because he likes Yuuri

 

* * *

 

The top is cold, but it isn’t so lonely anymore that now Yuuri is nearby.

The view is still boring since nothing change even though he got a bit higher but that’s alright because he is watching Yuuri and not the view.

 

* * *

 

He considers going down if only so that he could be close enough to Yuuri to hug him.

But Yuuri tells him how much he loves seeing Victor on the top.

 

The top has nothing to offer him anymore, but if can be Yuuri’s goal, Yuuri’s source of strength to climb, then Victor don’t mind enduring the cold for a while longer.

 

* * *

 

When Yuuri begs him to teach his signature quad flip to Yuuri, which is the only remaining gap between him and Yuuri, he genuinely smiles and readily agrees.

 

* * *

 

If he could bring Yuuri up here, with him, on the top, then it won’t be so cold, lonely and boring anymore.

 

* * *

 

0-0-0-0

23

The next day after last chapter

(One day after Men GPF)

0-0-0-0

 

 

Yuuri lays half-dead on his bed, he should’ve known better than agreeing to a shopping trip with Victor – _diva_ – Nikiforov.

His physical stamina holds up, but his mental stamina is drained dry.

 

Really, Yuuri can’t tell why only certain shades of light blue – _where almost all shade look the same for him_ – fits him and why he should burn the rest.

 

In the end, Victor comments that Sochi is rather lacking – _What? How? Why?_ – and he’ll take Yuuri on another shopping trip when he goes to St. Petersburg.

 

Yuuri is absolutely _dreading_ it.

 

At the end of the day, Yuuri ends up with a new suitcase, and enough new clothing to fill the said suitcase.

 

 _*Whistle* you might want to transfer some funds to your personal account_ the voice reminds him.

 

‘Mmmh’, Yuuri burrows his head deeper into the pillow, he doesn't feel like moving anymore tonight, ‘Reminds me again tomorrow'.

 

_Mmmm you should learn to remind yourself._

_I won’t be here forever you know_

 

 

Yuuri freezes, ‘You know I hate it when you say that.’

 

_It won’t be so bad Yuuri_

_Look at you, you’re strong enough that you haven't needed me for several months now_

 

‘I need you _yesterday_ night’, Yuuri insists.

 

_Even without me, you’ll understand that eventually_

_Victor is an action type of man that prefers to show than to tell_

_You’ll be fine as long as you try to think the reason behind his actions, to **see** what he don’t **say**_

 

 

‘Like _that_. You say _eventually_ , but how long would it take for me to understand _that_ by my own?’

_Not long, you’re already on the right path_

_I’m just giving some unneeded nudge to get you there faster_

_But you’ll be fine even without me_

_What is it again, oh right, for men it is better to be slow than fast isn’t it?_

 

 

‘… Don’t try to distract me with that horribly inappropriate joke …’

_…_

_…_

_…_

_I… really want to keep this, at least until you’re back to America_

_But since we’re talking about this subject…_

_Yuuri, concentrate and tell me what are you feeling right now?_

 

‘Sudden emotion assessment session?’, Yuuri questions but follows.

 

‘Tired… Being dragged to something I don’t quite like all day does that’

‘Sadness and worry… I hate to be reminded of the possibility of you leaving’

‘Happiness… No matter what they do, spending a day with Victor is still a happy thing’

‘Fondness and affection… That man is silly’

 

Yuuri frowns when he finds something he can’t identify. It is a quiet, barely noticeable mixture of discontent, impatience, helplessness and the acceptance of something inevitable

 

_Ah so you can feel it after all_

_I thought it is just me_

 

The implication hits Yuuri with a wave of dread, ‘No… No no _no no **no**_! You can’t **_leave_**!’

 

_Calm down,_

_I’m not leaving **now**_

_I’ll still be here with you for a year_

 

A small part of Yuuri is relieved at _not leaving now_ , while a larger part is in chaos.

 

‘ _A year_? Why not forever?!’

 

_It’s not my choice_

_You can feel it too_

 

‘Can’t you _do something_?!’

 

_Like I said, not my choice_

 

Yuuri breaks down, ‘Is it because of me?? Because I’m _strong enough_??’

 

_No_

 

‘Then is it because I’m _not good enough_??’

 

_No_

_Listen Yuuri, it’s not you or your fault_

_I believe that even if you live your life very differently, I will still leave next year_

 

‘But _why_ …?’

 

_Hmmm…_

_Let’s just say you buy a book and it has 240 pages_

_So you read and read and read_

_At page 230 you suddenly notice how thin pages left are_

_You can demand all you want for the story to be longer_

_But in the end, 240 pages book will only have 240 pages_

_It is not something for you to decide_

_Nor it is something you can change_

_The best you can do_

_Is to enjoy the last 10 pages_

 

‘Why next year’, Yuuri quietly demands.

 

_At first, I'm not sure_

_But then that **feeling** came_

_And I’m struck with the realization that, ‘Oh, that’s right, this is the **beginning** isn’t it. And if this is the beginning, then the **end** would be next year.’_

 

_I can’t explain it_

_But I **know**_

_Like how I knew you’ll be great in figure skating_

_That you’ll like Victor_

_And how that next year, my story would end while yours continues_

 

‘…….. can _I_ do something?’

 

_… no …_

* * *

 

0-0-0-0

_“They say bad things happen for a reason_

_But no wise words gonna stop the bleeding”_

Breakeven

0-0-0-0

 

 

A month later Yuuri request a leave from Celestino.

Celestino readily complies with, “I’m always here if you want me”

 

Yuuri takes a plane back to Hasetsu.

 

Vicchan fell seriously ill.

The vet manages to help it got through the worse, but the vet is afraid Vicchan won’t last very long.

 

Yuuri spends as much time as possible with Vicchan, until one and a half months later, Vicchan passes away.

 

The funeral ceremony is a small private affair done in the nearby temple.

 

* * *

 

Later that night, Yuuri quietly turns on his phone for the first time today.

 

**_Yuuri good morning ♥_ **

****

****

**_Yuuri how are you?_ **

****

****

**_It’s lunchtime in Japan right, have you eaten?_ **

****

****

**_Hello?_ **

****

****

**_Yuuri?_ **

****

****

**_Are you blocking me Yuuri? ;_; ??_ **

****

****

**_Did I do something wrong :( :( :( ?_ **

 

 

Yuuri can’t help a small snort and a sad smile

 

**_Victor, you're so silly sometimes_ **

**_I’m not blocking you_ **

**_I just didn’t turn on my phone_ **

 

**_!!!_ **

**_Yuuri ♥♥♥_ **

**_Why though?_ **

 

**_We were having a funeral_ **

**_For Vicchan_ **

 

**_!!_ **

**_I’m sorry for your loss :(_ **

**_Are you alright?_ **

 

 

**_No… Not really_ **

**_But don’t worry I’ll be alright…_ **

**_Eventually…_ **

****

**_:( :( :(_ **

**_I’ll see you in 10 hours_ **

 

 

Yuuri widens his eyes, ‘It is 2 weeks to World, Victor won’t...’, he groans,  ‘He would wouldn’t he… ’

****

****

**_Wait Victor! Stop!_ **

**_You coming here would only make me feel worse :(_ **

****

****

**_Yuuri you need a hug :(_ **

****

****

**_Yes :(_ **

**_You can hug me all you want_ **

**_After World :(_ **

**_Do well for my part too okay?_ **

**_I’ll be watching_ **

 

 

**_:( Okay…_ **

**_I’ll break another world record for you :)_ **

 

**_Davai!_ **

 

_Captain, crisis averted_

 

Yuuri snort again, ‘He really would immediately fly here wouldn’t he…’

 

_Yes_

_For him, you’re more important than practicing for something he’ll win anyway_

 

‘He is silly’

 

_Yep_

 

‘If he did that, Yakov would kill me.

Then his rink mates would.

Then the media would find out.

And his fans would revive me to kill me again.’

 

 

_Probably_

 

‘He is silly’

 

_Yep_

 

‘And I name Vicchan after him’

 

_Yea_

 

‘Thankfully Vicchan didn’t inherit his diva personality’

 

_That would be terrible wouldn’t it_

 

‘Un… Vicchan is such a good dog’

 

_Yes_

 

‘I… I can’t see Vicchan again…’

 

_mmm_

 

‘And in 9 months I’ll lose you too…’

 

_mmm_

 

‘This isn’t fair’, Yuuri sobs.

 

* * *

 

A couple of days later, Yuuri make a request.

 

‘Help me pick a song for next season?’

 

_Sure, what theme?_

 

‘Funeral'

 

_Ah…?_

 

‘Not the sad heartbreaking type. The flashy grand ones they use for kings and heroes’ death. You’ll be leaving after GPF right? I’ll give you the best funeral march.’

_So I’ll be choosing my own funeral songs… that’s… so morbid…_

_I love it!_

 

 

‘I had a feeling you would’, Yuuri wryly smile, ‘You only need to choose one, though, just for the SP.’

 

_Heee_

_What are you planning for the FS then?_

‘Anything you want it to be.’

 

_Anything?_

 

‘Yes.’

 

_Are you **sure**?_

 

‘Yes.’

 

_Wao~_

_I’m amazed that after pole dancing you're still willing to do what I want._

‘It’s like make-a-wish. Anything you want for the last time.’

 

_Great! Wonderful! I’ll make sure you regret this worse than pole dancing!_

 

‘… If that makes you happy …’

 

_Yuuri you're supposed to tsukkomi me there_

 

‘I know, that’s why I didn’t do it.’

 

 _You’ve grown_ , the voice says with fake surprised tone.

_Since you’re offering~_

 

_This is the jump composition, tell me if you still want to go with my idea after this_

 

_First is a combination jump of quad toe loop and double toe loop_

_Then is a quad salchow_

_Triple flip_

 

Yuuri nods and brace himself, it is doable… so far.

 

_Now on the second half_

_Triple axel_

_Quad toe loop_

_And another combination triple axel, single loop, triple toe salchow_

_Follow by another combination of triple lutz, triple toe loop_

_And for the grand finale, a quad flip_ _♥_

_So what do you think?_

 

‘That you really try hard to make me regret it more than pole dancing’, Yuuri slowly inhales, ‘But I’ll do it.’

 

_Fufufufufu_

_Great!!!_

 

‘Can I negotiate on that last jump?’, there is a reason why quad flip is called Victor’s signature move after all.

 

 _Nope_ _♥_

_Don’t worry_

_I have a plan for that~_

 

The voice’s evil playful tone tells Yuuri that it is seriously trying hard to make him regret this more than pole dancing.

 

 

0-0-0-0

23

March - After World

Victor goes to Hasetsu for [vacation] again

0-0-0-0

 

The voice’s _plan_ regarding for the quad flip basically boils down to _ask Victor_.

Right, like _that_ will work.

 

…

…

…

 

It works.

It works so easily that Yuuri is the one left confuses.

 

He just claps his hand together, bow a bit and asks, "Victor, please teach me how to do quad flip", and Victor immediately replies with, "Okay~!"

 

“Eh?”, Yuuri was about to continue his sentence with the (utterly ridiculous) _bribe_ that the voice has prepared in order to convince Victor.

 

 “Let’s get started then”, Victor cheerily says, “I’m only here for a month but that should be enough~”

 

Yuuri has a flashback of similar thing happens last year. 

Victor’s programs are more of an artistic display of his skill variety rather than mere point chaser. So technically, him teaching Yuuri quad flip is no threat to his solid gold career.  

 

Still, "Is it really okay? Don't you need my reason? I mean, they call it your _signature_ move, you’re really fine with teaching me that?”

 

“If it is you, Yuuri, you only need to ask. I don't mind hearing the reason, though", Victor smiles as he moves close enough that his face is just centimeters away from Yuuri and says with a more serious tone,

“And as for it being _my_ signature, if you can do that too, it would be _our_ signature”, and then he hugs Yuuri, “Won’t that be great?!”

 

‘Really’, Yuuri thought, ‘This man is not good for my heart.’

 

“If you really don’t mind”, Yuuri hugs back, “Then yeah that would be great.”

 

* * *

 

In the end, Yuuri still explains.

 

“Do you remember when I was taking, uh, pole dancing class, you asked about the person who forced me to it?”

 

“Ah, the one that is [like a parent] for you?”

 

“Yea”, Yuuri nods and continues with a serious tone, “That person might be _gone_ 8 months from now.”

 

Victor offers a comforting half-hugs, Yuuri takes it.

 

“Neither I nor that person can do anything about it”, frustration leaks out on Yuuri’s tone.

 

“So I… For my last skate that person might see, I want to skate what that person wants. So that person composes both the song and the program for my FS”, Yuuri wryly smiles, “But of course that person’s personality is bad enough to include a quad flip as the last jump.”

 

Victor pauses, not even he has tried quad flip as his last jump, “That’s amazing...”

 

Yuuri snorts, “I know right”, and he continues, “That person even comes out with an equally _amazing bribe_ in case you need some conviction to teach me.”

 

“The bribe goes like this”, Yuuri pauses and adds, “Errr, this in what that person says okay, please don’t mind and you don’t need to accept it if you don’t want to.”

 

Victor gives an encouraging pat.

 

Yuuri takes a deep breath and says, “If you teach me quad flip, if I win the GPF, I would give you something round and golden to make up for the gold medal. If I lose, then… I, I’ll live with you.”

 

Victor freezes then slowly says while looking at Yuuri straight on the eyes, “Really? Do you agree with that Yuuri?”

 

Yuuri looks at the seriousness in Victor’s eyes and says, “… Only if you agree …”

 

Victor inches closer then whispers against Yuuri’s lips, “I agree.”

 

0-0-0-0

23 - April

0-0-0-0

 

Victor returns to Saint Petersburg, Russia, with extra cheerfulness.

 

“Yakov I’m back!”, Victor exclaims as he barges into the rink, “I bought you onsen manju! They’re delicious!”

 

“Vitya!”, Yakov barks, “So you’re finally done playing around.”

 

“Haha, I won’t call it playing around~”, Victor is unrepentant as usual, “I’m even done with my SP and FS choreography!”

 

“I call it as I see it”, Yakov huff, “Did you choreograph that Japanese Yuuri’s programs again? Keep doing that and I’ll laugh if he beats you.”

 

“No~ Yuuri can choreograph his programs by himself just fine, I’m just helping him here and there~ Plus if it is Yuuri, then I won’t mind him getting the gold~”

 

Before Yakov could sharply reprimands his stupid student, Victor's carefree demeanor changes as his eyes and smiles become dangerous, "Not this year, though. I'll win this year."

 

Yakov is stunned, when is the last time he saw Vitya looking this determined to win?

 

“Oi Victor!”, Yuri sharply calls out, “Where is _my_ program?”

 

Victor blinks and Yakov finally remember to breathe.  

 

“What program?”

 

* * *

 

Back in Detroit, Yuuri is currently having a serious private talk with Celestino.

He gives Celetino a run down on his situation and ends it with an apology.

 

“I’m sorry coach, even though you’ve done so much for me… I… I’ll try my best to win” _but it is Victor Nikiforov I’m competing against_ hangs in the air.

 

“Let me ask you one thing”, Celestino says in a serious tone, "If given free choice, do you want to want to live with him?”

 

Yuuri gives a quiet nod.

 

“Then it’s all good”, Celestino light-heartedly concludes and gently adds, “Yuuri, I've seen many skaters breaks due to relationship problems, but from what I see, what you have with Victor Nikiforov is something that strengthens both of you.

Besides, who says either of you will win? Haven’t you seen Phichit? He’ll give all competitors a run for their gold!” _So don’t worry about me_

 

“Yea”, Yuuri smiles, “His skates in Four Continent are wonderful!” _Thank you, coach_

 


	7. 23 - 24 (Grand Prix & World)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> White Noise: A sound that contains all frequencies so your brain would translate that as “silence”. Usually use to mask/block out unwanted sounds. Can be artificially made to mimics natural sounds such as ocean and waterfall.
> 
>  
> 
> I just add a brand new shiny [eventual feels] tag for this fic
> 
> And you should know what this chapter would contain
> 
>  
> 
> **  
> **  
> _You’re been warned_  
> 

0-0-0-0

23 - April

0-0-0-0

 

Yuuri sprawls on the floor as he once again miss-land his quad flip. Quickly he gets up and makes an _I’m okay_ gestures to Celestino who orders, “Take 10 minutes break”.

 

Yuuri nods, sits on the sides then reviews his performances.

 

His success rate in landing clean quad flip is still so-so.

 

‘This isn’t good’, Yuuri thought, ‘I have to be able to do a no-miss once the competition starts.’

 

_……_

_…u..._

_…Yuuri…_

Yuuri pauses when he finally registers the voice calling him. As time passes, the barely noticeable feelings that he feels back then has evolved into constant sand tricking mental white noise.

 

It is quiet enough that Yuuri can still hear his own thought, but if he isn’t concentrating, he’ll miss what the voice says.

 

‘Yes?’

 

_Do you know why quad flip is the last jump?_

 

‘To top pole dancing?’, Yuuri jokingly offers.

 

 _Haha_ , The voice dryly laughs, _No, the serious answer?_

 

‘Surprise factor?’

 

_Hm, your answer is awarded 319 points_

‘… Out of how much…?’

 

_Who knows~_

Yuuri considers it, really considers it.

 

His free which the voice composes. The title is Yuri on Ice. The theme is various type of love. The voice tells him to skate it as he reflects on various supports that people has given him. In short, it is his life story. To place someone’s _signature_ as the last jump of _his story_ is…

 

_*sigh*_

_I wonder if this is how parents feel at their children’s marriage day…_

_Even though it is me that push you two together_

_A part of me keeps saying ‘You’re too good for him Yuuri!’_

 

‘… If anything, I would say that he is the one that is too good for me…’

The voice doesn’t seem to listen to Yuuri as it keep ranting,

 

 

_Victor Nikiforov isn’t the sharpest emotional tool in the box_

_He’ll probably hurt you once or twice with his airheadedness_

_You deserve someone who’ll treasure you like the treasure you are Yuuri_

_And I can’t even be there!_

_Me why urgh_

 

 

Yuuri doesn’t know if he should laugh or cry right now, ‘Careful, you sound like overprotective parents there.’

 

_It’s not overprotective if you deserve that protectiveness!_

 

_You know you’ll still have your family to call back right?_

_Do tell them if Victor is being stupid_

 

_Or Celestino_

_Your parents are too nice sometimes_

_Celestino should be able to set that overgrown puppy straight_

Yuuri has a sad smile on his face.

 

 

‘I wish you don’t have to leave’

 

   

* * *

 

0-0-0-0

23 - October

0-0-0-0

 

 

Grand Prix Assignment

 

Christophe Giacometti:

Skate America – Chicago, United States

NHK Trophy – Osaka, Japan

 

Emil Nekola:

Skate America – Chicago, United States

Rostelecom Cup – Moscow, Russia

 

Georgi Popovich

Skate Canada – Kelowna, BC, Canada

Rostelecom Cup – Moscow, Russia

 

Guang-Hong ji

Cup of China – Shanghai, China

Trophée De France – Paris, France

 

Jean-Jacques Leroy:

Rostelecom Cup – Moscow, Russia

NHK Trophy – Osaka, Japan

 

Leo de la Iglesia

Skate Canada – Kelowna, BC, Canada

NHK Trophy – Osaka, Japan

 

Michele Crispino:

Cup of China – Shanghai, China

Rostelecom Cup – Moscow, Russia

 

Otabek Altin:

Cup of China – Shanghai, China

Trophée De France – Paris, France

 

Phichit Chulanot:

Skate Canada – Kelowna, BC, Canada

NHK Trophy – Osaka, Japan

 

Seung Gil Lee:

Skate America – Chicago, United States

Trophée De France – Paris, France

 

Victor Nikiforov:

Skate America – Chicago, United States

Cup of China – Shanghai, China

 

Yuri Plisetsky:

Rostelecom Cup – Moscow, Russia

Trophée De France – Paris, France

 

Yuuri Katsuki:

Trophée De France – Paris, France

NHK Trophy – Osaka, Japan

 

* * *

 

0-0-0-0

October – Skate America

After winner interview

0-0-0-0

 

“Victo~r”, Chris says as he drapes himself over Victor, “Is Yuuri that good?”

 

“He is a great skater”, Victor lightly answers.

 

“You know that’s not what I’m talking about, in bed Victor, in bed~”

 

“Hmmm~ He likes cuddling and waking up late~”, Victor smiles but it is rather sharp.

 

Chris releases Victor then raise his hands in universal surrender gestures, “I’m just surprised at your chosen theme. Life and love? It isn’t like you to choose such _common_ themes.”

 

“What can I say, I feel particularly attracted to those themes?”

 

“Wow you had it bad”, Chris then continues slowly, “Could it be that you’re serious?”

 

Victor smiles, “I’m seriously trying to win this Grand Prix.”

 

Chris sighs, “Even if you’re not serious you’ll still win Victor.”

 

“This Grand Prix is special~”

 

Chris mentally analyzes, “Do you make another shopping bet with Yuuri like last year?”

 

“A bet yes. The stakes are much higher, though, and I am going to win”, Victor seriously says.

 

Chris blinks then bitterly smiles, in all his competition with Victor, Victor never looks so determined, ‘So I’m never good enough for you to take me seriously am I…’

 

“And besides”, Victor brings back his smile, “Live and love are _common_ themes. But even common things can be attractive when you place it with the right contrast.”

 

* * *

0-0-0-0

October – Skate Canada

0-0-0-0

 

Phichit is having the time of his life. Not only that he gets gold, he also found a fellow SNS lover friend in Leo.

 

* * *

0-0-0-0

November – Rostelecom

0-0-0-0

 

 

Yuri is trying his best to reigns his temper, ‘Don’t shout at live broadcast it is bad for sponsorship. Don’t shout at live broadcast it is bad for sponsorship. Don’t shout at live broadcast it is bad for sponsorship.’

 

“It’s J.J. Style!!!”, the gold medal winner beside him shouts.

 

Yuri slowly inhales, ‘God dammit, not only I lost in Russia, but the winner has to be this absolutely obnoxious bastard!! Who in their right mind would name their song with their own name?!’

 

 

* * *

0-0-0-0

November – Trophée De France

0-0-0-0

 

 

Yuri, like most other people, is gaping at Katsuki’s SP.

 

‘It’s a funeral march’, Yuri slowly thought as he watches Katsuki skates. The tone is loud and grand, but there is an unmistakable undertone of sadness and loss. If that is not enough Katsuki skates it with sad solemnity you could only found on King’s funeral on a movie.   

 

‘Fuck, it’s basically _death_ and that old man Victor chooses _life_ as his SP’s theme… Opposite theme?! That is so-’, Yuri’s thought is cut short when Yuuri jumps and cleanly lands.

 

 

“ **Qu… Quadruple Flip!!!** ”, the announcer shouts.

 

 

Yuri gasps, he doesn’t know what to think… or feel…

 

Everyone believes that he is Victor’s successor, Russia’s next hero, another living legend in the making.

And _he_ himself believes that too.

Him, standing _here_ , right now, proves it.

 

But apparently, [Everyone] doesn't include Victor himself.

 

That _Japanese Yuri_ , and not _him_ , is the first person Victor ever choreograph for, the first person Victor goes so far to help, and the first person to land Victor’s _signature_ move.

 

Everyone believes that he is Victor’s successor, but Victor _himself_ chooses _Japanese Yuri_ and not _Yuri_ to be his _successor_.

 

The worst part is that even _he_ can see what _draws_ Victor’s eyes.

 

* * *

 

Yakov never imagines that coaching Russia’s top skaters could be this stressful.

 

If he thinks back, it is not always this stressful.

 

Georgi used to happily in love with Anya and easily motivated by mentioning that Anya would see his performances and he better train hard as to not embarrass himself.

 

Vitya, while being a selfish airhead, is pretty much self-sufficient. He choreographs his own performances and hasn’t needed any real coaching for years.

 

Yakov likes to remind Vitya about how his competitors would overtake him if he keeps his ignorant attitude, but both he and Vitya knows that until Vitya’s own body betrays him, nobody could even come _close_ to Vitya.

 

Then Vitya falls for Japanese Yuri.

 

Yakov should’ve stopped it.

 

Vitya’s relationship with Japanese Yuri is not like Georgi and Anya.

It is _dangerous_ to Vitya’s career.

He should’ve told Vitya to stop contacting Japanese Yuri, that he is only using him.

 

But he can’t.

He _can’t_.

 

Not when Vitya looks genuinely happy.

Not when Vitya looks determined to win.

How many years has it been since last time Vitya have _both_ , no, _either one_ of that inside him?

 

Japanese Yuri is _dangerous_ to Vitya’s career.

But Japanese Yuri is also Vitya’s _savior_.

 

Gone were those days when Vitya would just waste away beneath his impeccable fake smile.

 

Yakov the coach is appalled by his stupid student helping his competitor.    

Yakov the human is relieved, Vitya finally found someone who could help him.

Yakov wouldn’t forgive Japanese Yuri if he turns out to be a _fake_.

 

But that is for later days which hopefully would never come.

Right now Yakov has something more important to do.

**_Vitya_ ** **_!!!!!!!!!_ **

**_Why did you teach that Japanese Yuri your quad flip you idiot!_ **

****

No shouting in front of live broadcasts, it is bad publicity.

 

 

 **_That was so clean and beautiful right!_ ** _**♥♥♥** _

****

**_Idiot!!!_ **

**_Use your head a bit!_ **

****

****

**_Yakov, why are you so mad?_ **

**_Wait, I have told you, right?_ **

**_When I win Yuuri will live with me_ ** _**♥** _

_**So you’re going to be his coach too Yakov** _

_**Isn’t that great for you?** _

__

_Yakov presses call, “Vitya. Explain. Now.”_

 

* * *

 

The second day of Trophée De France manages to further ruin Yuri’s mood.

 

He never thought that in his first two Senior Grand Prix, he would meet two narcissistic skaters who use original song composition and name it after themselves.

 

…

…

 

'Great step sequences...', Yuri _assesses_ not _admires_ alright.   

 

 

... If only _Katsuki_ is halfway as obnoxious or annoying as shithead JJ, Yuri can easily hate and rage at him.

 

“ **And** **here comes the last jump, Victor Nikiforov’s signature quad flip….!!!** ”

 

‘Quad flip as the last jump?!’

 

“ **He lands it clean! Not even Victor Nikiforov has attempted this jump as his last jump!”**

 

The crowd roars.

 

Yuri gasps, ‘That… That… _Show off_!!!’

 

* * *

 

“Oi, _show off_!”, Yuri calls out when the interview session is done.

 

 _Show off_ looks like he is considering whether or not Yuri is addressing him.

 

Yuri points at him and says, “I’ll beat you at GPF!”

 

 _Show off_ just half-fondly half-indulgently smiles at him.

 

 

* * *

0-0-0-0

December – NHK Trophy

0-0-0-0

 

“Yuuri”

 

Yuuri pauses as he hears someone calling his name, replies, “Chris! Hi”, and braces himself to quickly avoid the man’s groping effort.

 

…

 

Which doesn’t come as Chris just stands a respectable distance from him (well respectable for Chris’s standards anyway).

 

He can’t help but to slightly raise one eyebrow, well that is unusual.

 

“Yuuri you look delicious as always, but Victor would be mad if I touch you”, Chris winks at him then says at low voice, “I’ll forgive you for not inviting me to your hot spring. But I won’t forgive you if you didn’t invite me to your wedding okay~”

 

Yuuri helplessly smiles, “Of course Chris, we won’t forget you.”

 

Chris waves as he walks away.

 

Phichit gasps beside him.

 

“Phichit, no”, Yuuri quickly cut-off whatever his best friend would say, "And no posting please."

 

* * *

 

Most people believe that Yuuri’s performances are something Yuuri made in tandem with Victor Nikiforov for a publicity stunt. Really, it is not hard to conclude.

 

Their SP is a startling contrast of black( _death_ ) and white( _life_ ).

 

And their FS, _love_ , is turquoise (greenish-blue) and aquamarine (bluish-green). Very similar but with enough differences that instead of overlapping, they’re beautifully complementing each other.

 

Phichit doesn't know how it ends up like that but as Yuuri’s best friend, he knows that Yuuri’s performances are genuinely _tributes_ for someone.

 

Phichit worriedly looks at his best friend at the podium.

 

Yuuri wins another gold medal, but he looks absent-minded and almost sad. Oh, he tries really hard to cover it alright. Most people would look at Yuuri’s current demeanor and chalk it up as him being a graceful winner. Gentle smiles, polite words, and formal bows.

 

 

Not Phichit.

 

Not Celestino either.

 

But they can’t do anything other than offer Yuuri someone to talk to, which Yuuri accepts with a thank you, but refuse by saying he just need some time alone.

 

So they respect Yuuri’s wish and give him all the space he needs while praying for him to feel better soon.

 

* * *

0-0-0-0

24

0-0-0-0 

December - Grand Prix Final

Barcelona, Spain

0-0-0-0

Free Skates

0-0-0-0

 

Yuuri closes his eyes.

 

At this point, the sand white noise is so loud, Yuuri can’t even hear his own thought anymore, let alone the voice.

 

He opens his eyes, gives Celestino a weak smile that is meant to be reassuring and slowly skates to the center.

 

 

He isn’t ready

 

 

Oh God he isn’t _ready_

 

 

But time is merciless and waits for no one

 

 

His free music starts and Yuuri _moves_

 

 

He can’t hear the voice anymore, but since the sand noise causes it, the voice must still be here

 

 

Yuuri exhales softly, even without words, you can convey your feelings through actions

 

 

Therefore

 

 

Look

 

 

_Feel_

 

 

This is my last skates for you

 

Can you feel it?

 

 

These are my feelings

 

 

My various types of [love]

 

 

Until the end

 

 

 

I know nothing about who you truly are

 

 

Right now

 

 

Is it scary?

 

 

Is it hard?

 

 

Is it sad?

 

 

 

I can’t hear your answer

 

 

 

But I know

 

 

[Love] is a wonderful feeling

 

 

 

And with [love]

 

 

You can go through even the hardest days

 

 

So for my last performance

 

 

My last gift for you

 

 

This is my various type of [love]

 

 

Please use it if you feel scared

 

 

Please use it if you feel it’s hard

 

 

Please use it if you feel sad

 

 

And

 

 

For everything until now

 

 

 

 

Thank you

 

 

 

As the last grain of sand trickles,

 

A sharp sound of hour glass breaking resounds inside Yuuri

 

Then all the voices and noises stop altogether

 

 

 

‘A… ah…’, Yuuri can hear his own thought again, ‘It is so _silent_ …’

 

* * *

0-0-0-0

 

“ _And we were letting go of something special_

_Something we’ll never have again_

_I know, I guess I really really know_ ”

 

The Day You Went Away

 

0-0-0-0

* * *

 

The next morning, Celestino knocks on Yuuri’s door.

 

 

Yuuri is really out of it yesterday and pretty much running on auto mode.

 

His smiles don’t reach his eyes and his answers come out as almost monotone.

 

After the interview he quickly excuses himself, leaving a trail of very worried people behind.

 

 

Yuuri’s free yesterday is breathtaking flawless no-miss. Yuuri has really bright future awaits for him. Celestino is sure Yuuri himself knows that too. But grief – _oh how Celestino would pay to know who exactly is Yuuri grieving for_ – grief can could judgements and make people do stupid stupid things.

 

So here he is, standing almost too early in the morning, knocking on his student’s door while praying for him to open it.

 

When the door opens, a thoroughly exhausted looking Yuuri, with red eyes and dark circles under his eyes, squints at him.

 

“Oh”, Yuuri softly exclaims then he gives a small _genuine_ smile, “Good morning Celestino, what is it?”

 

“Good morning Yuuri”, Celestino breathes out in relief, “I’m just checking up on you. How are you feeling?”

 

“I have a glorious headache after crying myself to sleep”, Yuuri gives a nostalgic sad smile, “Sorry for making you worry, but I’ll be fine.”

 

“That’s great”, Celestino softly smiles, “So what is your plan for today?”

 

Yuuri thinks about it and says, “I think I’ll go sightseeing.”

 

 _With Victor_ goes unsaid but known to both of them.

 

“Sure, have fun okay!”, Celestino exclaims as he bids Yuuri goodbye.

 

“Yes, thank you Celestino”, Yuuri waves.

 

Yuuri closes the door and leans back on it.

 

‘The voice won’t want me to _stay_ sad’, he slowly inhales and exhales, ‘I need to _live_ _my life_ … for its sake too…’

 

* * *

 

Victor takes one look at Yuuri and promptly reschedules their Barcelona sightseeing date to a later hour.

 

“Is this really fine?”, Yuuri asks as he is lying on Victor’s bed while being covered with a blanket.

 

 “It’s fine, it’s fine. Barcelona is more beautiful at night anyway”, Victor assures as he lies beside Yuuri and spoons him up, “Now sleep.”

 

‘It’s warm…’, Yuuri absentmindedly notes, ‘really warm…’

 

Yuuri closes his eyes and whispers, “Vitya… You won’t leave me right…”

 

Victor hugs him tighter, “I would never leave you.”

 

 

 

* * *

0-0-0-0

24

0-0-0-0

3 Months Later

0-0-0-0

March – World Figure Skating Championship

0-0-0-0

Winner Interview

0-0-0-0

 

“Congratulations for winning your 6th gold streak!”, a reporter opens, “How are you feeling?”

 

“Ecstatic!”, Victor brightly smiles, “I win the bet again~”

 

Besides him, Yuuri mentally rolls his eyes while keeping a polite smile on his face.

 

“Oh, another bet between you and Yuuri? What is it this time?”

 

“If I win, I get to pay for our IKEA dates. Yuuri’s bet is the same as his GPF, something round and golden to make up for the gold medal.”

 

None of them is sure who, but someone chirps out, “Gold wedding ring right?”

 

Victor freezes. He never really thinks about what Yuuri means since, before GPF, he is too dead-set on winning the last bet and, after GPF, too excited and busy preparing for Yuuri’s move into his apartment.

 

Victor looks at Yuuri and slowly asks, “Really…?”

 

Yuuri is trying really hard to keep his eyes and smile as sincere as possible then he replies, “Congratulations on winning.”

 

The combination of shock, horror, and despair on Victor’s face almost make Yuuri laughs.

 

 

Several questions later, the inevitable question of, “Are you retiring?”, is thrown to Victor.

 

Instead of answering, Victor turns to look at Yuuri again.

 

Yuuri simply says, “I’m keeping my side of the bet.”

 

Victor turns his attention back to the reporters and answers with a firm, “No.”

 

For the first time in years, Victor really means it when he says he is not retiring.

For the first time in life, Victor considers losing and he finds out that _the fall_ is not that scary anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Character corner: 
> 
> For the last part, sassy!Yuuri makes a comeback xD 
> 
> Before Yuuri never minds it if Victor wins, because, for him, Victor _always wins_. It is a fact.
> 
> But at World, Yuuri is confident enough in his skills that for _the first time_ , he actually tries to win…. And he still lost… Thus return of sassy!Yuuri.
> 
>  
> 
> Victor’s current mindset is that he founds a future in Yuuri, so the thought of retiring isn’t as scary/alien as it used to be anymore. 
> 
> Then Yuuri says he is keeping his bet, and retiring means Victor won’t be able to cash in that one bet. He won’t (can’t) purposely lose, but he’ll probably despairing if he wins again.
> 
>  
> 
> Add :  
> Actually, I was thinking to keep that last part for next chapter, but I decide that I don’t want to leave this chapter in a bad/sad ending.


	8. 24 - 25 (Grand Prix & World)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: … I don’t know what I’m writing… This story is supposed to be a short one-shot, _what_ is this…
> 
> (Real) Warning: Nothing I guess? 
> 
> Sugar, (not-quite)crack?/(legitimate)crack?/(desperate)idiots? and good feels I supposed.
> 
> ****  
> _Bold and Italic are text messages_

0-0-0-0

24 – April

0-0-0-0

Detroit, Michigan – USA

0-0-0-0

Yuuri & Phichit’s shared dorm room

0-0-0-0

 

Both Yuuri and Phichit are packing up their belongings accompanied by assortments of random songs from Yuuri’s phone.

 

Since Yuuri is leaving for Russia, Phichit can’t find enough reason to stay in Detroit. Luckily, Celestino is open to the idea of moving to Thailand.

 

Yuuri starts peeling off Victor’s posters off the wall while mentally debating whether he should take these with him or ship them back to Hasetsu. After Yuuri finish cleaning his wall, he turns to carefully survey the room and twitches at the shiny poster on Phichit’s table, ‘Oh my God, it’s _still_ there! I totally forget about that one…’

 

Phichit seems to notice his line of sight and asks, “Ah that one, can I bring it with me?”

 

Yuuri blinks, “Sure.”

It is a limited edition poster, but if Phichit wants it…, “Why, though?”

 

“I’m going to stick it to my desk in Thailand too”, Phichit lightly replies, “It has been there for so long I think it would feel weird to not see it on my future-desk-to-be.”

 

Yuuri groans and covers his face with his hands, “Sorry about that…”

 

Phichit laughs, “Don’t worry about that.”

 

“And besides”, Phichit adds, “If anyone asks, I could tell them that it belongs to my best friend who gets to be together with his life-long idol. A real life example of how dreams do come true.”

 

“Phichit…”, Yuuri hugs Phichit, “Thank you for everything. I’ll miss you.”

 

Phichit hugs back, “Thank _you_ for everything Yuuri… I’ll miss you too… We’ll still chat and face-time right?”

 

“Of course.”

 

“And we’ll meet each other at Grand Prix.”

 

“We will.”

 

“Great!”, Phichit smiles and holds up his phone, “One last selfie at this place Yuuri, smile!”

 

* * *

0-0-0-0

24 – April

0-0-0-0

St. Petersburg – Russia

0-0-0-0

Victor’s Apartment

0-0-0-0

 

“And that’s it~”, Victor says as he hugs Yuuri from behind, “So what do you think?” 

They’ve just finish a mini-tour on Victor’s apartment.

 

Yuuri places his hand on top on Victor’s, “Wonderful! Very classy”, Yuuri is honestly impressed.

 

“I do have a question, though”, Yuuri reaches out for his phone with his free hand and turn his head to look at Victor.

 

“What’s the wifi password?”

...

...

...

 

Yuuri’s next question is, “Your internet _is_ unlimited right?”

 

...

...

...

 

Yuuri left his phone on song streaming as they start unpacking.

 

Yuuri doesn't bring much with him, he and Victor have IKEA dates later, but for now make do with what Victor have… Actually, _make do_ is an understatement, do they really need to go to IKEA? Victor seems to own enough, _too much_ for one _normal_ person, of everything.

 

A sharp gasp from Victor distracts Yuuri. Yuuri turns to see Victor holding a small black box, ‘Oh he found it.’

 

In one quick move, Yuuri swipes the box from Victor’s hand and pockets it.

 

Victor looks at him with wide-eyes, “Yuuri is that…”

 

“Something round and golden yes”, Yuuri confirms.

 

Victor makes a very pitiful pleading face, but Yuuri just smiles and says, “I didn’t win yet.”

 

Victor slumps on the floor.

 

“Vitya?”, Yuuri calls out while shaking Victor’s shoulder.

 

“I can’t go on anymore…”, Victor dramatically moans out.

 

Yuuri thinks about it for a bit, takes a nearby spare blanket, drapes it over Victor, and continues with unpacking. If Victor is feeling dramatic, then Yuuri will let him be.

 

 

Minutes later Victor seems to found his resolve, pick himself up, and declares, “I found my new bet.”

 

Yuuri tilts his head in a _what-is-it_ gesture.

 

“Unrestricted photo posting.”

 

 

This time Yuuri is the one that freezes.

 

Victor loves to post their pictures online.

Yuuri likes his privacy.

 

 

Victor is a media darling that thrives on public attention.

Yuuri posts just enough to assure his fans that he is still alive.

 

 

Victor likes to show-off their relationship.

Yuuri thinks that they are happy even without the public knowing it.

 

 

They compromise.

 

 

Victor can take as many pictures as he wants.

Yuuri sets the restriction on what type of photo of him that Victor is allowed to post.

 

 

And Victor takes _lots_ of pictures…

Including really risqué ones too…

 

 

“Your fans would be _happy_ Yuuri~!”, Victor smiles his colder than arctic pole smile.

 

 

Victor won’t(can’t) purposely lose.

Yuuri won’t(can’t) ask him to.

 

 

But that doesn’t mean Victor can’t pick the worse kind (for Yuuri anyway) of bet to give Yuuri _extra_ motivation to win.

 

* * *

 

Yuuri wakes up with a little disorientation.

 

The bed is more comfortable than normal.

The air is chilly, but the blanket is fluffy and warm.

He squints at the unfamiliar decoration.

 

‘… … … Oh that’s right, I move in with Vitya… Vitya’s not here…’, Yuuri notes then grope around for his phone and hit _play_. Over the past 4 months, he acquires the habit of listening to music. No that isn’t quite right, most of the time he doesn’t really _listen_. He just dislikes the _silence_ so he fills it with a widely acceptable form of _sound_ , music. Music that bitter-sweetly reminds him of what he lost… but also his best days with the voice.

 

He burrows himself back to the bed, 8 hours difference between St Petersburg and Detroit is hard on his sleep cycle.

 

“Good morning Yuuri!”, the door opens then a way too cheerful in the morning calls out.

 

Yuuri drags himself up to look at Victor and let out a helpless smile, “Really Vitya?”

 

Victor brightly smiles as he places the food tray on the bed then place a kiss on Yuuri’s lips, “Mmm, since Yuuri doesn’t seem to want to get up, I figure why not have breakfast in bed?”

 

“Great idea”, Yuuri breathlessly says as warmth spreads from his heart, ‘Hey… If you’re watching, please don’t worry. Right now, I believe that I’m walking on the right path to _live_.’

 

* * *

0-0-0-0

24 – April

0-0-0-0

St. Petersburg – Russia

0-0-0-0

IKEA

0-0-0-0

 

 

They don’t have too many things on their to-buy list. Most are decorative like photo album and frame.

 

Though, they do need another sofa.

 

~~And that is the root of the _incident_.~~

 

It starts off innocent enough with, “Oh look Yuuri, sofas~”

 

Victor then walk up to one he likes, plops down and pats the space beside him, “Come here Yuuri~”

 

“Is it alright to sit on them?”, Yuuri glances at the sign, it’s Cyrillic, Yuuri is learning but he can’t quite read and understand them yet.

 

“Of course~!”

 

Yuuri reasons that they _do_ need to try it out as he sits down.

 

Victor immediately cuddles Yuuri.

 

Several passersby slow down to _discreetly_ eyed them.

 

Yuuri can still feel their eyes as he tries to loosen up on the PDA, “I thought you want to try out the sofa?”  

 

“But I am~”

 

“People are staring Vitya”, Yuuri reprimands. 

 

Victor hums, “They all want a good look at my beautiful Yuuri.”

 

Yuuri nudges, “I think they’re looking at _you_.”

 

Victor makes disagreeing noises, “You’re always so beautiful Yuuri~ , but _here_ you’re not only beautiful but also _exotic_.”

 

Yuuri warmly smiles, “You’re silly.”

 

“But it’s true~”, Victor whines as he tries to topple Yuuri.

 

Yuuri holds his sitting position.

 

“We need to try out the sofa before buying Yuuri!”

 

Yuuri gives a slightly sharp smile.

 

Victor pouts and in one smooth move, he shifts his body and lies his head on top of Yuuri’s lap and proceeds to do a very sexy come-hither movement.

 

Gasps come from their not-so-subtle audiences, more than one basket is dropped and several people crash/bump into something/someone.

 

Yuuri covers his face with his hand, ‘Trust _Victor Nikiforov_ to turn a _shopping_ trip into an _incident_.’

 

Yuuri removes his hand from his face, revealing a helpless smile and placates, “Alright, alright, you win”, then he caresses Victor’s face and says in low voice, “Now come on, let’s just buy one so we can _try it out_ at home.”

 

* * *

0-0-0-0

24 – April

0-0-0-0

St. Petersburg – Russia

0-0-0-0

Ice Rink

0-0-0-0

 

“Dammit, why Yakov isn’t stopping him”, Yuri Plisetsky is trying his best to hold his temper at the sight of the two idiots.

 

‘One more word I swear…’, Yuri glowers.

 

“Yuuri yo-” 

 

‘Ok that’s it!!!’, Yuri snap and shouts, “OI VICTOR! STOP… _HARASSING_ HIM!!!”

 

 

_(Let’s rewind a bit)_

Most, if not all, of Yakov’s students aren’t sure what to expect about their soon-to-be newest rink-mates. Yuuri Katsuki looks nice and kind enough whenever they see him, but they had only seen him in places where media is present. And they, of all people, know best on what is called [public persona].

 

Look at Victor _Living Legend_ Nikiforov.

 

Skill. Looks. Personality. Money. You name it, he has it.  

 

To most people, Victor _6 gold streak on GPF and World_ Nikiforov might as well be _God_.

 

Little do they know that if Victor Nikiforov is _God_ , the world wouldn’t even survive for 1 hour.

 

Point being, Yuuri Katsuki can be _anything_.

…

…

…

Those who have ill thoughts are disappointed when Yuuri _just call me Katsuki_ Katsuki ends up as nice and kind as he appears on media.

 

So they move on from _there_ and starts complaining about how _lucky_ Katsuki is to get Victor to teach him.

 

Impressively, or not- depends on who you ask really, _that,_ just like proverbial God Victor’s world, didn’t last an hour into the practice before it changes into how lucky _they_ are to _not_ get Victor to teach them.

 

Victor’s lack of filter between his brain and his mouth is well known on the rink, but there is a huge difference between _knowing_ that and _understanding_ how that would affect Victor’s way of teaching.

 

Sure Victor compliments Yuuri here and there. And those compliments are so _poetic_ and _sweet_ it is almost _sickening_ and makes them want to yell _get a room_!

 

But those _disgusting_ compliments are overshadowed by sheer _bluntness_ that borderlines _cruel_ when he criticizes. 

 

And criticizes he does.

 

He has Katsuki going through a motion or part, only to stop him midway, and makes him repeat the very same motion/part over and over again. Nitpicking and criticizing every flaw until he is satisfied with what he is seeing.

 

 _Flaws_ which, for the most part, only _he_ can _see_.

 

If _that_ is what Victor Nikiforov subjected a _World silver medalist_ to, how much _worse_ would it be for more _normal_ people? 

 

Probably worse enough to make them run out crying or beating up Victor with their fists because there is no other way for _normal_ people to take what Victor is doing except for harassment or picking-a-fight.

 

But when normal people would scream, “Lay off will you!!!” or “How much better do you want it to be until you’re satisfied?! GOE +9000?!”, Katsuki is definitely not _normal_.

 

Katsuki must secretly be a zen monk or holy-saint because he just wordlessly nods and repeats when Victor ask him to and calmly accept every criticism that Victor’s throw like it is gentle chiding instead of something that leaves everyone burning with secondhand anger.    

 

And now, other skaters are either skating far enough to be out of earshot or use their earphone with max volume. Yakov looks like he doesn’t know where he goes wrong in raising(coaching) Victor. And Yuri Plisetsky is stewing his anger...

 

Until Katsuki lands another clean quad flip but Victor _perfectionist_ Nikiforov just have a thoughtful look on his face and open his mouth,  “Yuuri yo-” 

 

‘Ok that’s it!!!’, Yuri snap and shouts, “OI VICTOR! STOP… _HARASSING_ HIM!!!”

 

Victor blinks and looks like he really doesn’t get what Yuri means, “But I’m not?”

 

Yuri glowers, Yakov, with all his years of trying to reprimands Victor, fail almost all the time. Yuri changes his target, “You, _pushover_ , grow a spine and tell him off will you!”

 

Pushover seems to have a better clue on what Yuri means as he offers an indulgent smile and replies, “It’s not bad. You only have to keep it in your heart that he means well.”

 

Yuri’s brain short-circuited.

 

“Alright, that’s enough”, Yakov says while lacking his usual temper, “Katsuki, take a 10 minutes break. Vitya, you’re not allowed to help nor teach anyone else anymore.”

 

“Eeee why?”

 

“The fact that you need to ask _why_ is a prove on itself”, Yakov says as he cradles his head.

 

He agrees to watch Vitya teaches Katsuki for one day for reference purpose. Celestino’s advice aside, _he_ doesn’t know what type of student Katsuki _really_ is, and the easiest way to learn that is to observe someone who _knows_.

 

He doesn’t expect he will find out how his top student redefines the words _bad_ _teaching attempt_ instead.

 

“But Yuuri thinks that I’m great at teaching right?”, Victor tries.

 

“Sure”, Yuuri gives out another indulgent smile, “Only if you can find a way to stop them from crying.”

 

“See, Yuuri agrees~!”

 

“His _second_ sentence. Pay attention to his _second_ sentence you idiot!”

…

…

…

In the end, compromises are made.

 

Yuuri will prioritize Yakov’s coaching.

 

Victor can offer Yuuri _advice_ once he is done with his own share of training (because Yuuri has more stamina than him and could always do longer training), but he is not allowed to help _anyone_ else unless they ask first.

…

…

…

 

At the end of the day, most of the people there either warms up to or nicely tolerate Katsuki. Before Victor helps him, he is already a World bronze medalist anyway. _If_ Victor’s special brand of _help_ got him to silver, he _deserves_ that and then some more. 

 

* * *

0-0-0-0

24 – May

0-0-0-0

St. Petersburg – Russia

0-0-0-0

Ice Rink

0-0-0-0

 

Yakov’s newest student brings out lots of coaching techniques he has either forgotten or never needs them in the first place. Like saying take a break _before_ he issues one more round. And how with Katsuki, he doesn’t need to shout and use scathing words because Katsuki is great at listening and understanding.

 

There is one thing he doesn’t understand, why is Katsuki so _desperate_. While a hard working student is nice for a change, a _desperately_ hard-working student is doing things to his nerves.

 

Yakov can’t be Celestino. Celestino is capable of pouring every moment of his attention equally to his skater. Yakov has too many skaters with various stage of skills to do that. He is afraid that one day, he’ll take his eyes off Katsuki for one moment too long and he’ll really end up in the hospital.

 

So he asks, “Why?”

 

“?”

 

“Why are you so… _hard working_?”, never in his years as coach has he said this before.

 

Grim determination enters Katsuki’s eyes, “I _have_ to win GPF.”

 

Win [GPF] is a really specific statement, unlike [I’ll beat both of you] Yuri likes to shout.

 

Yakov thinks about it, “Do you make another bet with Vitya?”

 

Katsuki covers his face with his hand and groans, “Vitya bet for unrestricted photo posting.”

 

Yakov wonders since _when_ did a GPF win only amounts to _photo posting_ … at least it is still better than _paying_ for dates.

 

“*sigh* Alright, I won’t say anything about that. But listen well, if overwork yourself due to that bet, I’m prohibiting all bets from then. Get it?”

 

Yuuri considers it and then give a silent nod.

 

“Good. Now here is your new training schedule.”

 

* * *

0-0-0-0

24 – November

0-0-0-0

St. Petersburg – Russia

0-0-0-0

Their Apartment

0-0-0-0

 

“So for my birthday”, Yuuri says a whole week before his birthday.

 

He learns from his previous birthday, that if he doesn’t tell Victor what exactly he wants for his birthday, he’ll get a huge bouquet of blue roses, high-class cake, expensive body care package and many other things which previously leaves Phichit and his other dorm-mates buzzing for _months_.

 

 _Amazing_ , especially when you considers that Victor arranges all of it from Russia. And Victor doesn’t even celebrate _his own_ birthday!

 

“Let’s just have dinner at that restaurant I like okay?”, Yuuri suggests.

 

Victor frowns, but when he open his mouth, Yuuri places his index finger on top of Victor’s lip and says, “We can’t do anything fancy since Grand Prix is around the corner and I already have everything I want. So for my birthday, I would be happy to just quietly spend it with you. Okay?”, Yuuri smiles.

 

Victor doesn’t look convinced yet, so Yuuri adds, “We can go on all day dates on your birthday instead. Think of it as a rain check. We’re still celebrating _my_ birthday, just shifted one month later.”

 

Victor thinks about it then nods. The meaning of a birthday for him is different from normal people who celebrate it. For him, Yuuri’s birthday is just an _excuse_ to pamper and lavish him. So if shifting the date makes Yuuri happy, then be it. Plus, Yuuri can get stubborn about certain things and he doesn’t want a repeat of being locked out of their bedroom for a night.

 

* * *

0-0-0-0

25 – December

0-0-0-0

Grand Prix Final

0-0-0-0

Winner Interview

0-0-0-0

 

Officially, this would go down as the day Victor Nikiforov win his 7th Grand Prix gold in a row.

 

Unofficially, it would go down as the day where all 3 skaters on the interview table have various looks that are _not_ happy on their face.

 

Victor Nikiforov has a quiet contemplative look.

 

Yuuri Katsuki has a blank face.

 

Yuri Plisetsky is scowling.

 

 

“Congratulations on your 7th consecutive win! How are you feeling?”, a reporter opens with standard lines.

 

“I’m wondering should I do bulk album uploading or carefully selecting them and tag them properly”, Victor replies with a serious tone.

 

Yuuri covers his face with his hands and silently despair.

 

The reporters look confused.

 

And Yuri Plisetsky snaps and kicks Victor’s seat, “Dammit, why do I lose to this two idiots?!!!”

…

…

…

At the end, Victor chooses to do both as he selects _quality_ ones to tag and the rest are bulk uploaded.

…

…

…

As the night concludes, Victor and Yuuri are walking back to their shared hotel room.

 

“Yuuri are you mad…?”, Victor hesitantly asks, Yuuri doesn’t look mad, but his response to Victor has been slightly colder than usual.

 

“Hmmm”, Yuuri contemplates, “I shouldn’t. I did agree to the bet and you win fair and square. Plus you’re still conscious enough to not post _overly risqué_ ones so technically you post nothing that the public hasn't seen. And I’m not ashamed of our relationship. I shouldn’t be mad.”

 

Victor fidgets since he doesn’t know how to handle this.

 

“But Vitya”, Yuuri says as he inserts the lock to their hotel door, “I _am_ mad”, Yuuri smiles that colder than arctic smile he copies off Victor then move inside their room while keeping an outstretched hand on Victor’s chest to stop him from coming in.

 

“I’ll see you in the morning”, Yuuri says as pleasant as he could, withdraw his hand, then slam the door shut and lock it.

 

Victor gasps, then start knocking loudly, “Yuuri?”

 

“Yuuri?”

 

“Yuuri please let me in!”

 

“Yuuri?!”

 

“Yuuuriiiiii!!!”

 

The door of the room beside theirs (or Yuuri’s now) open and a stuffed tiger plushie launch itself to Victor’s head, hits, and topple him down.

 

“SHUT UP OLD MAN!!!”, Yuri screams then slam shut his own door.

…

…

…

Half-an-hour later, Victor mops in (previously)Yakov’s hotel room while hugging the stuffed tiger plushie, winning has never felt so _sad_ before.

…

…

…

Yuuri opens his door in the morning only to find bouquets of flowers and Victor groveling.

 

Guiltily, Yuuri apologizes and forgives him.

 

* * *

0-0-0-0

25 – December

0-0-0-0

Victor’s Birthday

0-0-0-0

Their Apartment

0-0-0-0

 

Yuuri is currently indulging in cuddling session(recharging) with Victor on the sofa. Evidence of their day-long date is clearly displayed on the floor around them is littered with shopping bags.

 

Victor might not celebrate his own birthday, but he sure is good at using it as an excuse to spoil Yuuri rotten. Or more like forcing Yuuri to accept expensive stuff he doesn’t know/think he needs. But that is just _Victor_ , channeling his feelings into action(gifts).

 

Their peace is disturbed by knocking sound.

 

Yuuri is confused at exactly who would knock at 9 PM, but Victor brightens as he energetically moves to answer the door.

 

Yuuri follows at a more sedate pace, only to find Victor signing the delivery received paperwork then says minimum amount of required politeness to the deliveryman and close the door.

 

“What is it?”, Yuuri asks as he observes the rather bulky package covered with brown wrapping paper.

 

Instead of answering, Victor requested, “Yuuri, help me set this up!”, then carry the package to their office-turns-dance room and proceed to rip the packaging.

 

Yuuri gasps at the product’s name and wonders if his Cyrillic reading skill deteriorates sharply in the last 5 minutes, but the product image assures him that no, he is not mistaken, it really is a portable stripper pole.

 

“Vitya… What…?”, Yuuri is speechless.

 

Victor smiles brightly as he opens the box and pulls out its assembly manual, “Pole dancing Yuuri! It is really hard to think of anything that can top unrestricted posting, but then I remember you _can_ pole dance can’t you Yuuri? So this is my next bet! If I win, you’ll pole dance for me Yuuri, and of course, I’ll record it and post it too~”

 

Yuuri is almost hyperventilating at this point, “You know that if you do win and do that, I’ll lock you out again right?”

 

Victor’s smile becomes grim, he knows that of course, “Then you just have to win Yuuri!”

 

Yuuri blankly watches as Victor constructs the portable pole bit-by-bit, ‘Hey… Even now I still don’t know what do you mean by _contingency plan_ when you force me to take that pole dancing class… But _Victor Nikiforov_ is using _that_ as his bet material, and I have to say it is super effective in motivating me to win… You must be laughing or feeling super smug that your plan works for something…’

…

…

…

When they update Yakov about Victor’s newest bet, Yakov looks like he is seeing two aliens instead of two human students.

 

When Yuri finds out, he eyed them while slowly whispers, “You guys are so fucking _desperate_ …”, then he regains his temper and yells, “World Championship gold is worth more than _pole-dancing_ video dammit! I’ll fucking beat you both, you just watch!”  

  

* * *

0-0-0-0

25 – March

0-0-0-0

World Figure Skating Championship

0-0-0-0

Night before Exhibition

0-0-0-0

 

**_Phichit_ **

**_Help_ **

**_You sure this will work??_ **

**_This will work right?!_ **

 

Yuuri desperately texted Phichit.

 

**_Chill Yuuri_ **

**_Of course!_ **

****

**_Oh.My.God._ **

**_I can’t believe I’m doing it TT_TT_ **

****

****

**_I can’t believe you’re doing it too haha_ **

**_This definitely tops the last Winter Olympic xD!!_ **

****

****

Yuuri pauses, he can blame his [ _call-me-maybe_ ] last Winter Olympic on the voice, but this time it is all him isn’t it… He can still blame it to the voice via influence… The voice will be _so proud_ of him…

 

**_Don’t worry_ **

**_You’ll do great_ **

**_He’ll love it!_ **

**_And I’ll be ready with my HD camera ;D_ **

 

Yuuri weakly smiles, and that’s the rub, right? Yuuri’s fondness for his privacy is screaming _no!_ with all their might, but it’ll make Victor happy so Yuuri steels himself and proceeds with the plan preparations.

 

* * *

0-0-0-0

25 – March

0-0-0-0

World Figure Skating Championship

0-0-0-0

Exhibition Day

0-0-0-0

 

Yuuri dazedly watches Victor’s exhibition as his mind is racing.

 

Victor looks good in his black suit, another contrast with his silver-white ones.

 

 

When Victor is finished and arrives back at the rink edge, Yuuri offers a hug which Victor happily takes. As he hugs him, Yuuri whispers in ordering tone, “Stay here and watch me”.

 

Victor looks amused as he smiles and easily complies.

 

 

Yuuri skates to the center while taking a deep breath, ‘Alright, I’m _doing_ this.’

 

 

“The men’s singles gold medalist, Japan’s Yuuri Katsuki!”, The announcer introduces.

 

“His exhibition is a self-choreographed performance to an original song, [You]”

 

 

More than a few eyebrows are raised, that is not Yuuri’s GPF exhibition piece.

 

His rink-mates are even more surprise since they never seen him practice that.

 

Phichit is grinning, his camera is ready.

 

 

Yuuri’s starting position faces Victor’s direction as he gently smiles.

 

_Hey, have you ever tried  
Really reaching out for the other side_

 

Yuuri makes _come-here_ gestures then skates away

  
_I may be climbing on rainbows  
But baby, here goes_

_Dreams, they're for those who sleep_  
_Life is for us to keep_  
_And if you're wondering what this song is leading to_

 

Everyone is waiting for the continuation of the lyrics, but there is just two beats of keyboard and the chorus repeats with different lyrics

 

 _Life can be short or long_  
_Love can be right or wrong_  
_And if I chose the one I'd like to help me through_

 

Like before, two beats and chorus repeats. But by now people starts to get noisy as they connect the lyrics to Yuuri’s winning bet.

 

_Baby, you know that dreams, they're for those who sleep_  
_Life is for us to keep_  
_And if I chose the one I'd like to help me through_

 

Yuuri takes out a black box from a hidden pocket on his coat, adopts a half-kneeling position while presenting the box and then skates a clean straight line from the center to the rink edge where Victor is.

 

_I'd like to make it with you_

He stops right on the edge just before Victor and opens the box.

 

Victor looks at the solid golden ring he saw almost a year ago with teary eyes, really, he has been waiting too long for this.

 

_I really think that we could make it_

 

The song ends and Victor nods with a bright smile.

 

Yuuri flashes a smile as he stands and take the ring out with his right hand and pocketed the box with his left, then held open his left hand, silently asking for Victor to place his right there.

 

Victor complies and Yuuri places the ring on Victor’s ring finger.

 

Someone starts clapping and soon the stadium is filled with clapping sounds, congratulations, and well wishes.

 

Before Yuuri can do or say anything, Victor gently holds and lifts Yuuri’s right hand.

 

Yuuri gasps as he sees Victor placing the very same type of golden ring on his ring finger.

 

They look at each other’s eyes and grins, Victor then kisses him, and for the life of him, Yuuri can’t hear the crowds screaming as he kisses back.

  

* * *

 

 **Victor Nikiforov** @vnikiforov

@yuuri-k Yuuri might be the one that wins today ;)

But the winner in life is definitely me ;D

#YuuriKatsuki #IamSoLucky #SomethingRoundAndGolden #BestGoldInMyLife

 

* * *

 

_**See You NEXT LEVEL** _

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Note:_   
>  _Yuuri’s final song is a variation(butchering, I’m-so-sorry) n of [Make It With You] by Bread_
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> _I realize when I’m writing this fic, that Victuuri doesn’t **need** to say “I love you” _  
> _Did you guys realize they never bother saying it too in this fic?_
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> Oh… this is the first time I actually finish a story… *pats self, GJ me*
> 
> Special _awards_ goes to:  
>  Chapter 1 : [Book14reader](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Book14reader/pseuds/Book14reader)  
> Chapter 2 : Anon  
> Chapter 3 : [Book14reader](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Book14reader/pseuds/Book14reader)  
> Chapter 4 : [Book14reader](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Book14reader/pseuds/Book14reader) ( **MVP!!!** xD)  
>  Chapter 5 : [drago123](http://archiveofourown.org/users/drago123/pseuds/drago123)  
> Chapter 6 : [RebelliousRom](http://archiveofourown.org/users/RebelliousRom/pseuds/RebelliousRom)  
> Chapter 7 : [nestofthorns](http://archiveofourown.org/users/nestofthorns/pseuds/nestofthorns)  
> Chapter 8 : [Ailulouch](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Ailulouch/pseuds/Ailulouch)
> 
> For being the first commenter at each chapter *applauses* 
> 
> Commenters are special to me because I never ask for comment/feedback/review and I also try not to make my chapter ends in cliff-hanger or bait, so people who comment _should_ have no other extra motivation to comment other than because they want it, so thank you \\(^^)/ !!
> 
> Also a special shout out [ _thank you very much!_ ] to [myvividreams](http://archiveofourown.org/users/myvividreams/profile) for proofreading ch 1-4 , I never thought the day would come when someone would want to proofread anything I made… *sniff*
> 
>  
> 
> Ok the fic is done (finally!), I might make after story/spin-off/side-story, but no promise. I want to take a break first haha. I start writing this at new year, and today is the 21st, total word count is 27k, so my average words per day is > 1k… _~~total no life zombie mode…~~_


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